- The Flash: [Trickster has taken hostages] Let 'em go, Jesse. It's over.
- The Trickster: [to Megan] Do I have to kill him to prove my love?
- [the Flash pushes a hostage out of harm's way]
- The Trickster: I hate it when he does that.
- The Flash: How'd you get involved with, uh... Mandrake here?
- Megan Lockhart: Routine repo job. His name's James Jesse, like Jesse James only backwards and twisted. I followed him across state lines and he turns the tables and starts chasing me. I thought I lost him on the back roads, and then he set up a trap for me here. How was I supposed to know he was a homicidal maniac?
- Matthews: I gotta tell you, I'm impressed, ma'am. Took real guts to take this guy down.
- Megan Lockhart: Oh, it was nothing, really. A little martial arts training and a lot of street fighting.
- Williams: Well, you hit the jackpot with this bird. He's been tough to track. He's got more personalities than a variety show. He's wanted for murder in five states.
- James Jesse: That's six states. And she didn't stop me. It was that... Flash thing.
- Williams: Yeah, right. And I'm Bugs Bunny.
- Christina McGee: I can't believe you've never seen "The Philadelphia Story".
- Barry Allen: Well, between my dad and my brother, I grew up watching Westerns.
- James Jesse: I warn you, I've mastered all of Houdini's secrets.
- Megan Lockhart: Ah, put a sock in it.
- [stuffs a sock in his mouth]
- Officer Tony Bellows: Murph, what are you doin'?
- Officer Michael Murphy: I can no longer live a lie, Bellows. That's right, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea. Michael Francis Murphy is The Flash.
- Lt. Warren Garfield: Officer Murphy, please remember that you are a policeman.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Yes, sir. It was a joke, sir.
- Lt. Warren Garfield: I have no sense of humor tonight.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Barry, wait till you hear this. Okay, Sherlock Junior here, every time he sees The Flash, it's without me. So now, he thinks I'm The Flash.
- Officer Tony Bellows: Murphy is always out of sight when The Flash shows up. I made a chart.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Oh, jeez.
- Megan Lockhart: Okay, "Flash sightings cross-indexed with Officer Murphy's patrol log." It's very interesting.
- Officer Tony Bellows: I rest my case.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Oh. Pure speculation, Your Honor. Pure speculation.
- Barry Allen: Well, now Murph, it does seem that you do protect too much.
- Megan Lockhart: You know, I saw The Flash once. And I must say, it is very close. Those steely eyes.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Yeah.
- Barry Allen: Officer Murphy, I'm proud to work with you. And your secret is safe with all of us.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Oh, boy, I would love you guys as witnesses.
- Officer Tony Bellows: That's brilliant, man. No one will ever believe you're The Flash.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Can I ask you a serious question, Bellows?
- Officer Tony Bellows: Sure.
- Officer Michael Murphy: Did your wonder horse kick you in the head?
- Officer Tony Bellows: Wonder horse?
- The Flash: We need some air out here. Something stinks.
- The Trickster: I knew you were coming, so I baked a cake.
- The Trickster: And now, for our final conflict, you christened miscreant. Your days in Central City are numbered.
- Officer Michael Murphy: I'm not The Flash, you dipstick.
- The Trickster: A decoy? Pathetic! Nobody tricks The Trickster!