Frasier (TV Series)

First Do No Harm (1998)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Frasier is breaking up with Marie] 

  Marie : Am I crazy or are you breaking up with me?

  Frasier : They're not completely unrelated.

• [Martin is setting Frasier up with Duke's daughter Marie] 

  Martin : Duke said she's grown into a real looker.

  Frasier : Yes, well I have seen Duke, and unless he sired a love child with Catherine Deneuve, I don't like my odds.

  [Marie comes in] 

  Marie : Uncle Martin.

  Martin : Oh, Marie! Look at you! You remember Frasier.

  Frasier : Bonjour.

• Frasier : You know, you're jealous. You're jealous that I'm having sex. Jealous that I'm having hot, passionate, sweaty jungle sex. What are you having?

  [he doesn't notice the waitress behind him] 

  Niles : I'm having a latte.

• Martin : Well, don't worry, I found a girl for you. Now, Duke's daughter Marie just moved back in town...

  Frasier : Dad, blind dates remain the refuge of the lovelorn.

  Martin : You know, if you didn't talk like that, you might not have to get set up so much.

• Frasier : You know, maybe there's still time to win her back.

  Martin : Well, it'd take a pretty big bouquet of flowers to do that.

  Frasier : I don't know, Dad. Maybe if I just explain to her what really happened, she'll forgive me. Sometimes the best apology is just the truth.

  Niles : You mean you're going to tell her you thought she was prostituting herself for therapy but now you've decided that's OK?

  Frasier : ...Well, not that truth. Some other truth.

• Frasier : Niles, Marie is a stunning woman with a body to die for. You think all I'm interested in is her mind? How shallow do you think I am?

• Martin : Well, I thought you needed a little cheerin' up. You've been kinda mopey lately.

  Frasier : Well, I had kind of a rough night at the wine club. During the blindfolded tasting, I gave four stars to a Mexican Zinfandel.

• Frasier : Yes, well, I've *seen* Duke, and unless he sired a love child with Catherine Deneuve, I don't like my odds.

• Frasier : Oh, Niles, you just missed Duke's daughter.

  Niles : I saw! Is it possible that's the same little girl we used to refer to as "The Ugly Dukeling?"

• Martin : Well, I'm sure glad you two patched things up. You know, Duke and I go back a long way. I got a lot of friends, but there's somethin' I get from Duke that I don't get from anybody else.

  Frasier : Seahawks tickets.

• Marie : I don't know when I've had such a delicious meal. You really made this yourself?

  Frasier : Well, yes. A little something I call "Crane Brulee."

• Frasier : I was enjoying our museum chat and I was wondering how we got onto the subject of mothers.

  Marie : Well, it was a Whistler exhibit.