Frasier (TV Series)

Fraternal Schwinns (2003)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : If a child of four can ride one, then so can we.

  Dr. Niles Crane : That's what we said when we were six!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : [about the KACL Bike-a-thon]  I am not going.

  Roz Doyle : But you just told them you'd see them there.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, Roz, I'm merely getting the rubes into the tent. I will gladly give my money, but spending the afternoon riding bicycles with a bunch of hooligans is not my idea of fun.

  Kenny Daly : It's just kids and families.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Frasier: Yes, well so was the KACL family picnic at the zoo, until those urchins jostled me into the orangutan grove. Let me tell you: orangutans are not the playful gentlemen of the trees the nature shows claim.

• Kenny Daly : So, Bike-A-Thon, you're in, right?

  Julia Wilcox : Nah, I can't be bothered, I'll just send a check.

  Kenny Daly : Oh, cheese and rice, what's wrong with you people?

  Julia Wilcox : Relax, Kenny, I'm just pulling your leg. How can I not go? This is funding AIDS research, for God's sake. I know you think I'm heartless and self-centered, but at least give me credit for being human.

  Kenny Daly : Well, Frasier's not going.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [gives a loud, forced, fake laugh]  What? Kenny, come on! I was pulling your leg too! I tell you what, we should have a fund raiser for your sense of humor! All right, I'll see you there.

  [ducks into Roz's booth] 

  Roz Doyle : You're pathetic.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I know.

• Dr. Niles Crane : [after they've tried and failed to teach each other to ride bikes]  A good teacher doesn't YELL at his student!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Nor does a good teacher throw a stick at his student!

  Dr. Niles Crane : I thought it would make you try harder!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh well you're gonna make one HELL of a dad!