Frasier (TV Series)
Freudian Sleep (2004)
David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane
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Quotes
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Dr. Niles Crane : Frasier? I thought you went to bed.
Dr. Frasier Crane : I-I had a rather bizarre dream.
Dr. Niles Crane : Really? What about?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh...
[long pause]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, I'm not sure you'd really want to hear about this one, Niles.
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, clearly it troubled you. It might help you to discuss it. You know how I enjoy interpreting dreams.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Mmm... Well, all right, uh... it took place in this very kitchen, and... I was married to Daphne and we were expecting a baby, and, uh... you were dead, and I killed you.
[Frasier sits across from Niles]
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, I can see how that might disturb you.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Indeed.
Dr. Niles Crane : A man of your intellect having such an obvious dream.
Dr. Frasier Crane : I beg your pardon?
Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, come on. You're lonely, and you envy what I have. I was just hoping for something more complex, you know, a stairway leading nowhere or Mom giving you a physical.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, there were many other perplexing details that I left out. For instance, uh, well there was um... a wheat thresher and... some sausage patties. And Eddie was dead, too.
Dr. Niles Crane : Ah, well, there's a real head-scratcher.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Hi, Daph.
Daphne Moon : What are you doing here?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Had a nightmare. Couldn't get back to sleep.
Daphne Moon : [sitting] That's strange. Niles had a nightmare, too. And I just dreamt...
Dr. Frasier Crane : [interrupting] Niles had a nightmare?
Daphne Moon : Mm-hmm.
Dr. Frasier Crane : What about?
Daphne Moon : He dropped the baby and it shattered.
Dr. Frasier Crane : [chuckling] That's perfect. Wait a minute. How did he drop it? Was it from a height? In a crowd? Was there water involved?
Daphne Moon : No, it was in the nursery.
Dr. Frasier Crane : [satisfied] Yes!
[Niles enters]
Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, hi, Niles! I understand you had a bad dream.
Dr. Niles Crane : Yes, it was utterly inscrutable. There was a table saw and apple pies, and...
Dr. Frasier Crane : Spare me, Niles, you broke the baby. Now who has the obvious dreams?
Dr. Niles Crane : It was still more interesting than yours.
[to Daphne]
Dr. Niles Crane : Frasier dreamed he killed me and married you.
Daphne Moon : At least he wasn't cheating on me with the service people because I was fat!
Dr. Niles Crane : Will you please stop blaming me for something I did in your dreams?
Daphne Moon : So you admit it?
Dr. Niles Crane : Daphne, Daphne, I will always find you attractive. Your dream shouldn't worry you at all. Unlike mine, I could very well turn out to be a bad father.
Dr. Frasier Crane : At least you two can face your fears together. Whom do I have to hug away my nighttime terrors, hmm?
Daphne Moon : Oh, boo-hoo, send yourself some flowers.
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Martin Crane : [putting a stop to Frasier, Niles and Daphne arguing with each other] What the hell is going on here?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, Dad, it's this infernal mountain air. It's giving us all nightmares.
Dr. Frasier Crane : All of you?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, Daphne dreamed that she was terminally fat, Niles that he was going to be a bad parent, and... well, at least mine arose from a real problem, the fact that I will always be alone.
[They start to talk over each other again]
Martin Crane : Oh, geez, we come up here to relax, and you're arguing about your dreams?
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, dreams that reveal genuine anxieties, which...
Martin Crane : Blah, blah, blah.
[to Daphne]
Martin Crane : You're going to lose your looks? Happens to everyone.
[to Frasier]
Martin Crane : You're afraid you're going to end up alone? You'll still have your family.
[to Niles]
Martin Crane : You're afraid you're going to be a bad father? Join the club. Now just clam it up and go to bed.
[Martin leaves]
Dr. Niles Crane : You know, I'm starting to regret inviting him up here.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles.
Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, Frasier, I have had... the worst day imaginable. I need a sherry.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Brace yourself.
Dr. Niles Crane : [noticing the empty bottle] You always think it's going to happen to someone else.