Frasier (TV Series)
High Crane Drifter (1996)
Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane
Photos
Quotes
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Daphne : [to Frasier] I want you to know that your assertiveness inspired me. For weeks now, some louse has been removing my wet clothes from the washer and leaving them on the table in a soggy mess. This morning, I decided to get my revenge. So I took off my new red panties and I popped them in with his whites.
Dr. Niles Crane : Bravo, Daphne. Good for you. God, I wish I'd been there.
Frasier : Daphne, don't you think you were overreacting just a bit?
Daphne : Absolutely not. Those were my panties and I wasn't afraid to use them!
[Niles bites down on his fist]
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Frasier : People of Seattle! Listen to me! We are not barbarians! We are not Neanderthals and we are NOT FRENCH!
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Frasier : [about Niles's fall in the Cafe Nervosa] My god, Niles, that was brilliant! You even got a tear in your eye!
Dr. Niles Crane : I landed on a fork.
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[Frasier is being saluted as a hero]
Dr. Niles Crane : [sulkily] No one's ever given me the thumbs-up.
Frasier : Well, Niles, I've driven on the freeway with you. The rest of the hand has been well-represented.
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Frasier : Look, Dad, would you mind terribly if I used the TV tonight? I went to three video stores to get this tape. I'm just dying to see it.
Martin Crane : [who's been watching a "funniest home videos" show] Sure, go ahead. How many times can you watch a dog get hit with a swinging door?
Frasier : [eyeing Eddie] Depends on the dog.
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Frasier : [Opening his radio show] Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. Who's on the line, Roz?
Roz Doyle : We have Mitch on line three. He's having trouble with his neighbors.
Frasier : Hello, Mitch.
Mitch : Make that *had* trouble. This idiot next door had his leaf-blower going at 7:00am, again
Frasier : Oh, that's very inconsiderate.
Mitch : Yeah, I'll say. That's why I decided to give him an "etiquette lesson." I grabbed that leaf-blower and smashed it against a tree.
[Frasier is taken aback by this. Roz, however, seems amused]
Frasier : Mitch, I must say I'm stunned. I can't imagine a more extreme response to such a minor infraction.
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Frasier : Somebody parked in my space again and I had to park six blocks from here and sprint the whole way. By the end my tweed pants were giving off so many sparks I almost caught myself on fire.
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Frasier : Go ahead, Daphne. Make my eggs.
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[after Niles's fall]
Frasier : Oh, Niles. Niles, I'm here for you. I promise we're going to get you the best care that THIS MAN'S MONEY CAN BUY!
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[while Frasier's upstairs neighbor is playing loud rock music]
Martin Crane : I'm gonna take a nap.
Frasier : Dad, you can't possibly expect to sleep in this racket.
Martin Crane : Are you kidding? I've slept through worse than this. In Korea I dropped off in a foxhole right outside P'Anmunjom. By the time I woke up the cease-fire was over and I was the only one who didn't know about it. Talk about having egg on your face.
