Frasier (TV Series)

Our Parents, Ourselves (1999)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• [Sophie wants to invite some of her friends over to her husband's Super Bowl party] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Larry, I gotta tell you, I'm afraid I side with your wife on this one.

  Larry : That just proves you don't know the first thing about football.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : What I do or do not know about football has...

  Larry : OK, how's this: My wife's friends can come over if you can answer even one little football question. Like...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Now, I don't see that that's in any...

  Larry : You're down by six, you're on your own forty, three seconds left, what do you do?

  [Roz gets his attention] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, all right, you would...

  [She holds up two telephone handsets] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You would take your receivers...

  [she lines them up] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : And line them up...

  [she mimes throwing] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : And then throw a pass.

  [big throw] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : A long, long pass.

  Larry : Yeah, and what's the name for that?

  [Roz kneels, crosses herself, and prays heavenward with an innocent look on her face] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : A Hail Mary.

  [Roz gives him the thumbs up] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Sophie and Larry, I hope you enjoy the game. In the meanwhile, this is Coach Crane saying, I'm listening.

• Roz Doyle : I'm impressed you're so good at charades.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm impressed you could mime a virgin.

• Shangri-lino : Hey, it's the Coyote!

  Dr. Niles Crane : Evening, evening, Jimbo. Check you later.

  Martin Crane : Wow, you got a nickname down there already. That's great! The Coyote?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yes.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : And how did you earn that honorific?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, it was quite the merry road. Yes, it evolved from Niles to Nilesy to Niley to Nile E. Coyote and now simply "The Coyote."

• Martin Crane : Hey, look what I got here, boys, a Funion Onion. The chef sent it over with his compliments.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I wonder what his insults are like.

• Bonnie : Hey ya, Marty. Oh, you must be Frasier, the big radio star.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Hello.

  Bonnie : Your dad is so proud of you, he talks about you all the time. Who's your friend?

  Martin Crane : Now, what's wrong with you? I told you about my other son.

  Bonnie : Oh, of course, what am I thinking? Nice to meet you, Eddie.

• Roz Doyle : Well, okay, Frasier. No offense, your father is a very nice man, but let's face it: My mother was attorney general of Wisconsin.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, I hope he remembers to curtsy before the Dairy Queen!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Ah, well, we're both gonna be fine. I was just thinking, though, if we wanna play it safe, we could make one of those, uh, pacts.

  Roz Doyle : You mean, like in forty years, if neither one of us finds anyone...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yeah, exactly, we'll marry each other.

  Roz Doyle : I was gonna say kill each other.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, six of one...