Frasier (TV Series)

Seat of Power (1994)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Martin Crane : [flushing toilet]  Well, there she goes. Good as new.

  Frasier : Thanks, Dad. Can I buy you a beer?

  Martin Crane : Oh yeah, sounds good. Come on, Eddie.

  [as they leave, Eddie starts drinking out of the toilet] 

  Martin Crane : Oh, for God's sake Eddie, don't drink out of the toilet. Some guy just had his head in there!

  [He and Frasier laugh] 

• Niles : Good news, Frasier. I pulled some strings with the spa, and they're squeezing us in for a salt glow with our Swedish massage.

  Frasier : Fabulous!

  Martin Crane : Ah, forget about a plumber, I'll do it myself. My manicurist cancelled on me.

  Frasier : Dad, you will not do it yourself.

  Martin Crane : I'll bet you don't even have any tools around here.

  Frasier : Oh well, that's where you're wrong. Let me show you something, mister. Here...

  [He opens a drawer and pulls out a pocket toolkit] 

  Frasier : See this? Every possible tool for every possible need. Got this from Hammacher-Schlemmer.

  Niles : Is that turquoise inlay?

  Frasier : Yes, it also comes in ebony and onyx.

  Niles : Onyx. Onyx is so showy. I don't...

  Frasier : Oh, I don't think so. I love onyx, onyx is a stone that resonates within me...

  [they begin to argue] 

  Frasier : Martin: This is why I never took any home movies. You two realize what a couple of delicate doilies you are? Sheesh, you don't even know the meaning of the word self-reliant. Thank God there's not a national disaster happening, you'd be helpless.

  [exits] 

  Frasier : Niles:

  [examining the toolkit] 

  Frasier : Oh! A lemon zester!

  Martin Crane : You two realize what a couple of delicate doilies you are? Sheesh, you don't even know the meaning of the word self-reliant. Thank God there's not a national disaster happening, you'd be helpless.

  [He exits] 

  Niles : [examining the toolkit]  Oh! A lemon zester!

• Martin Crane : Got you again, huh? You're such a soft touch.

  Frasier : I am not.

  Martin Crane : Well, he never begs when I'm eating.

  Frasier : Maybe he doesn't like what you're eating.

  Martin Crane : Trust me, he's not picky. I saw him eat a beetle.

• Daphne Moon : Eddie, let's go for another walk!

  Martin Crane : I thought you already walked him this morning?

  Daphne Moon : I did, twice.

  Martin Crane : He's gotta go again?

  Daphne Moon : No, actually I do!

  [Martin and Frasier look askance] 

  Daphne Moon : That didn't sound right. There's a very nice-looking gentleman who plays frisbee in the park with his Labrador. Eddie and I are hoping to run into them again. Come on, Eddie!

  [she tugs on his leash, Eddie doesn't move] 

  Daphne Moon : He's just playing hard to get.

  Frasier : I'm glad somebody is.