Frasier (TV Series)

Shrink Rap (1995)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Daphne : [in flashback, talking to Frasier]  I don't know how you put up with him.

  Niles : [cut to present time in a shrink's office]  Liar! Liar! Daphne never said that!

  Frasier : Well, she said it with body language.

  Niles : I happen to be fluent in that language, and she said nothing of the kind!

• Niles : Are you insane?

  Frasier : If I were, "Doctor", you'd never know it!

• Niles : Frasier, I have made a fist and I'm thinking of using it.

  Frasier : You are not scaring me, and the thumb goes on the outside, on the outside.

• Niles : Well, that was quite a diagnosis.

  Frasier : Yes, there's no denying it. We are vindictive and competitive.

  Niles : Petty, mistrustful

  Frasier : And as so often in these cases, it took someone outside our situation to point it out to us.

  Niles : Well dad always said it, but he has no credentials.

  Frasier : Well there's no arguing with Dr. Schachter's credentials. My God, the man is an expert in his field, graduated from the University of

  [checks the diploma on the wall] 

  Frasier : Grenada.

  Niles : Well surely that was just his undergraduate schooling.

  Frasier : Oh yes of course, his graduate work was done at... Aruba.

  Niles : An all Caribbean schooling. Well tally me banana.

  Frasier : I knew the man was a fraud the minute he opened his mouth.

• Frasier : What are you doing?

  Niles : I'm moving the Chepalire.

  Frasier : I like it where it was.

  Niles : Yes, but it didn't like it there. It wants light.

  Frasier : I have had this plant for two years and it has never been in direct sunlight.

  Niles : Well, obviously, look at it, the leaves are puckering!

  Frasier : They are not, they've wilted a little from the ride over in the trunk of the car.

  Niles : Oh, nonsense, Mafia snitches emerge from car trunks looking more robust!

  Frasier : This plant is going right over...

  [Niles protests, and he and Frasier start bickering] 

  Martin Crane : And so it begins!

• Frasier : [to Niles]  I'm so tired of your exaggeration, you always make things fifteen thousand times worse than they are!

• Niles : I hope you're happy!

  Frasier : If I were, "Doctor", you'd never know it!

• Frasier : I have had this plant for two years. It's never been in direct sunlight.

  Niles : Well obviously, the leaves are puckering.

  Frasier : They are not. They're wilted a little from the ride over in the trunk of the car.

  Niles : Oh please, Mafia snitches emerge from car trunks looking more robust.