Frasier (TV Series)

The Love You Fake (2002)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, Joe has found the source of the leak in my ceiling. It is Cam Winston's brand new washing machine! By God, for this time he's gone too far! As if his noise and noxious presence at the condo board meetings weren't bad enough. Have you ever heard of anything more fury inspiring?

  Daphne Moon : I certainly have not. Imagine the cheek of the man, installing an illegal washer-dryer.

  Joe : Oh, they're not illegal. A lot of the units have them. You guys have a hookup in the hall closet where you keep all those hats...

  [Daphne glares at Frasier] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : First of all, I had completely forgotten about the hookup. Second of all, I believe the homburg is poised for a comeback,

• [Frasier angrily confronts Daphne about his missing socks] 

  Daphne Moon : I'm sorry, Dr. Crane. I'm forced to do the laundry downstairs, and I guess your socks are just too tempting to the neighbors. Of course, you're welcome to go down there yourself and stand guard.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I see. But if we had our own washer-dryer, there would be no more lost socks. I will not be strong- armed by threats against my laundry!

  Daphne Moon : Suit yourself. I'm off to do a load of your pinks.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [confused]  I don't have any pinks.

  Daphne Moon : You will!

• [Frasier and Cam are writing out the terms of their "friendship."] 

  Cam Winston : Fine, I will arrange an introduction to my sweater weaver.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Good, thank you.

  Cam Winston : But, then I must insist on the formula for your bath blend.

  [Frasier considers that for a moment, while he sips a glass of sherry] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I think we were closer on an earlier draft.

  Cam Winston : Concur.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, all the pieces suddenly fit.

  Martin Crane : What is it?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : It's a bill from Cam. Apparently turning off his water has ruined the clothes that were in his washing machine. Those clothes were already ruined just by being on Cam Winston!

  Martin Crane : Well, then don't pay him. Have another fight.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : The battle is joined. I will not let that--that Mata Hari

  [referring to Cora Winston] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : drag you into this. From this day forward, no more Winstons in this, my house!

• Roz Doyle : You seem like you've been in a lousy mood lately.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : It's just that they put soy milk in my latte. I don't like soy milk. If it doesn't come from a teat or an udder, it isn't milk!