Frasier (TV Series)

The Zoo Story (1998)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Bebe enters the men's room on Café Nervosa] 

  Bebe : Frasier, we have to talk.

  Frasier : Are you aware that you are in the men's room?

  Bebe : Oh, please, if I paid attention to signs with little pictures on them - I would never get a parking space.

• Bebe : I'm sure you remember my number.

  Frasier : Still 666?

• Niles : How can you tell Frasier the Crane is a psychiatrist?

  Frasier : I can't wait to hear.

  Niles : He ignores what you say then sticks you with a large bill.

• [Maris is witholding sex to persuade Niles to fire their marriage counselor] 

  Frasier : Now, now, now, Niles, withholding sex may be just as difficult on Maris. She may crumble first!

  Niles : Are you serious? One hour of passion can sustain her for months. She stores it up like some sexual camel!

• [Gil enters the cafe in a daze] 

  Frasier : Oh, Gil. How did it go with the Hammer?

  Gil Chesterson : You've never seen such cold, dead eyes! It was like bargaining with Nosferatu!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : I just wish they'd named the damn bird after someone else.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Gregory Peck, perhaps.

• Frasier : You signed with Bebe?

  Roz Doyle : Okay, I know, I should've told you, I just wasn't in the mood for one of your lectures.

  Frasier : I'm not going to give you a lecture. You're entitled to choose whomever you wish to represent you. Someone who's honest, or a woman whose ethics would've raised eyebrows in the court of Caligula!

• Frasier : [about to sign with Bebe]  Once you've worked out this thing with the Hammer, maybe you can see what you can do about defusing this bird situation.

  Ben : Oh, you don't have to worry about the crane anymore. The poor thing choked to death this morning. They have no idea who would feed a bird a jawbreaker. Bye, now.

  Frasier : [Frasier turns slowly to Bebe, hopefully and fearfully at once]  Bebe, is there any chance it wasn't you?

  Bebe : Oh, darling...

  [looks around, trying to come up with an answer he'll be satisfied with] 

  Bebe : There's always a chance.

  Frasier : [ponders]  I can live with that.