- Leela: I think the owner is from Cygnus 5.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Cygnoids, in our block? Fie and foo! They should go back to where they came from!
- Leela: Professor. Please. Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now, let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No.
- Philip J. Fry: Look, the players who broke the various color barriers.
- Bender: When will man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots?
- Abner Doubledeal: You got us more publicity than a cowboy on a shark tank. Poor Tex. He was quite a shark.
- Philip J. Fry: Wow, I'm impressed. You look just like a ball player. Can I pat you on the butt?
- Leela: Fry, I'm a professional athlete now, so go ahead.
- Philip J. Fry: Aw, now I'm too nervous.
- Bob Uecker: Remember, fans. This exciting moment is brought to you by Month Old Franks. The hot dogs with experience.
- [Leela makes a retching noise after sampling an alien's pizza]
- Leela: I don't mean to offend, but this tastes like vomit.
- Cygnoid Woman: Thank you.
- Leela: No, actually, I did mean to offend a little. This is awful.
- Leela: Fry, put down those binoculars. The wall of that strip club isn't going to collapse twice in one week.
- Philip J. Fry: I know, and I've learned to accept it.
- Hank Aaron XXIV: Okay, try it again, but this time keep your eye off the ball.
- Leela: You mean keep my eye on the ball?
- Hank Aaron XXIV: Hey, lady! Which one of us is in the Hall of Fame?
- Philip J. Fry: Psst! You're holding the bat upside down.
- Leela: I didn't hit the batter! For once I was pitching, and not just belly-itching.
- Hank Aaron XXIV: Oh, you got that too? I think there's a rash going around.
- Hank Aaron XXIV: Okay, let's see what you can do.
- Bender: One thing she can do is lodge a ball in the dead center of your brain. You better get a batting helmet.
- Baseball player: I win!