- Morgan Proctor: No one can know about us. If anyone asks, I'll deny it.
- Fry: Just like every other girl I've ever dated.
- Professor Farnsworth: You can't just waltz into the Central Bureaucracy. It's a tangled web of red tape and regulations. I've never been, but a friend of mine went completely mad trying to find the washroom there.
- Leela: Then we'll need a guide, someone who's been there before.
- Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I've been there. Lots of times.
- [laughs maniacally]
- Hermes Conrad: [a letter comes in on the mail tube] Great gorilla of Manilla! A letter from the Central Bureaucracy.
- [Reads letter]
- Hermes Conrad: "Attention, Hermes Conrad. You are about to receive a letter from the Central Bureaucracy."
- [Another letter comes in]
- Hermes Conrad: [Shocked] Oh, my God! It's from the Central Bureaucracy!
- Hermes Conrad: [throwing mail tubes into various cubbies]
- Dr. Zoidberg: [singing] They said that I shouldn't be a surgeon !
- Professor Farnsworth: [singing] They po-po'd my Electric Frankfurter!
- Leela: [singing] They said I shouldn't fly with just one eye!
- [She gets hit in the eye with a mail tube]
- Bender: [slow and lackluster] I am Bender please insert girder.
- Hermes Conrad: Not so fast! While I was filing, I came upon a certain document filed by a certain Morgan Proctor. Form B, notification of romantic entanglement.
- Fry: That's right, she fraternized me!
- Morgan Proctor: That form wasn't about you. It refers to my high school prom date. It was a regulation date that ended in regulation disappointment.
- Hermes Conrad: Yes, but you only stamped it four times.
- [All gasp]
- Morgan Proctor: No! No! I was young and reckless!
- Morgan Proctor: Regarding last Monday's delivery, why was it 3 days behind schedule?
- Leela: Well, first we got lost, then Fry got his head stuck in a crater.
- Fry: [sadly] I thought it would fit...
- Morgan Proctor: Naturally I have to assign someone to fill in for Hermes while he's gone. I assign me. I accept. Welcome aboard.
- Morgan Proctor: Why isn't this jacket in alphabetical order?
- Leela: What?
- Morgan Proctor: The zipper. It should be at the bottom.
- Fry: What did you do to him?
- Morgan Proctor: I have downloaded his brain. Everything that is Bender is right here: his mind, his memories, his in-your-face interface.
- Bender: [monotone] I am Bender. Please insert girder.
- Fry: I demand that you give Bender back right now!
- Morgan Proctor: Then you should have filed a request twenty years ago.
- Hermes Conrad: Ah, the last form of the day. Welcome to Stampytown. Population: five.
- [stamps form five times]
- Hermes Conrad: And now for the finishing touch.
- [shreds forms; they are recycled into new forms and placed in the inbox]
- Hermes Conrad: Ah, the circle of bureaucracy.
- [singing about bureaucracy]
- LaBarbara Conrad: But something changed when my man turned pro.
- Hermes Conrad: I was sortin' but I wasn't smilin'.
- LaBarbara Conrad: He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks.
- Hermes Conrad: [punning] It's supposed to be about da filin'! People!
- Fry: I'm sick of you and your bureaucracy!
- [tosses the stuff on Morgan's desk]
- Morgan Proctor: Dirty boy! Dirty boy!
- [jumps on Fry and starts making out]
- Morgan Proctor: Why is there yogurt in this hat?
- Fry: I can explain. See it used to be milk, and... well, time makes fools of us all!
- Dr. Zoidberg: Now it's time for MY song!
- Dr. Zoidberg: [singing] When I was two there was a tidal wave in...
- Dr. Zoidberg: [Cut to end credits] Aw...