- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!
- Free Waterfall Junior: You can't own property, man.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie.
- Bender: [to a hot dog vendor across the street from the poppler stand] Hey, Mac, where do you want those rat droppings you ordered?
- [the people in line walk out in disgust and go to the poppler stand]
- Hot Dog Vendor: Wait a minute. You're not the guy who delivers the rat droppings.
- Free Waterfall Junior: The point is, you shouldn't eat things that feel pain.
- [Bender throws a brick at him]
- Free Waterfall Junior: Ow!
- Bender: Okay, we won't eat you.
- Leela: I'll go get some more bricks.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: I realize this may hurt our chances of consummating our relationship again.
- Leela: Go consummate yourself.
- Linda: Tonight a person is eaten live on network television. This gruesome event is brought to you by Fishy Joe's. Try our new drink, Extreme Walrus Juice. Ride the walrus!
- Leela: Animals eat other animals. It's nature.
- Free Waterfall Junior: No, it's not. We taught a lion to eat tofu.
- [Pan to scrawny, anemic lion]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Say, these would go great with some guacamol.
- Lrrr: Stop eating our young! And it's pronounced guacamole!
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: [Free Waterfall Jr. has given away that the orangutan has taken Leela's place] Why'd you open your bonghole, you smelly hippie? You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey? You must have smoked some bad granola!
- Lrrr: [Puts on a pair of glasses] The one called "Smelly Hippie" is right, this is a monkey!
- Nd-nd: [Eats orangutan] Yes definitely a monkey!
- Lrrr: Where's the real female?
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: I'll never tell!
- Lrrr: [Points raygun at his face] Where's the real female!
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: [Nervously] I'll get her for you
- Leela: Great. We're two days from Earth with no food.
- Bender: Problem solved. You two fight to the death, and I'll cook the loser.
- [Whispers to Leela]
- Bender: Work his gut. I like it tender.
- Fry: Maybe that planet over there has a drive-thru. A Burger Jerk, or a Fishy Joe's, or a Chizzler or something.
- Bender: Ah, don't get your hopes up. We're a billion miles from nowhere.
- Leela: Yeah. It's probably only got a Howard Johnson's.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: The Omicronians have decided not to eat all the humans.
- Lrrr: I filled up with nuts at the negociations.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: My God, they're back! We're doomed!
- Amy Wong: Doomed!
- Bender: [Deep inhale] Dooooooo...
- Lrrr: People of Earth-- Oh, that hippie's starting to kick in. we've all learned a valuable lesson today. I realise now that--
- [high]
- Lrrr: Dude! My hand are huge!
- [the audience whispers. Leela looks at Fry who shrugs]
- Lrrr: They can touch anything but themselves.
- [He puts his hands together]
- Lrrr: Oh, wait.
- Jrrr: [to the audience] Hear me out. There are many good reasons to eat: Hunger, boredom, wanting to be the world's fattest man. But not revenge. Are we no better than they? Besides, Leela's my friend.
- Lrrr: Is this true, Earthling?
- Leela: [mumbling with Jrrr in her mouth] Yeah it is!
- Lrrr: [pulls Leela out of his mouth] Leela's garbled words have opened my eyes
- Free Waterfall Junior: OK, that's a start, that's very Earth-friendly. Now everyone join hands. Join hands, please. I'd like to lead you all in some swaying. Come on, pay attention.
- [the audience is not impressed]
- Free Waterfall Junior: I said do it! Yeah...
- Lrrr: [asking Jrrr] Is he your friend too?
- Jrrr: No
- [Lrrr eats Free Waterfall Junior]
- Free Waterfall Junior: [crawling up his throat] This is not happening!
- [Lrrr swallows him]