- Marisol: [talking to a friend on the factory's business phone] I know, huh? I know, huh? I KNOW, huh?
- [George hangs up the phone]
- Marisol: That wasn't cool!
- George Lopez: I know, huh?
- George Lopez: [Angie's spending Saturdays teaching ex gang members how to groom dogs] Angie, Saturday is our family day. I grill, you make up a list of things for me to do, I hide in the yard... where can I hide now that there's poop and guns all over the yard?
- Max Lopez: [why he pretended to be sick] I wasn't ready for my math test. I wasn't getting the problems, Dad tried to help me but I don't have that kind of time.
- Angie Lopez: Is it so unusual for a wife to be interested in her husband's work?
- George Lopez: Angie, *I'm* not interested in my work.
- [points to his shirt]
- George Lopez: See this stain? Drool from when I fell asleep.
- [points to his sleeve]
- George Lopez: See this stain? That's blood from when I stab myself to stay awake.
- George Lopez: Everybody's all taken care of, now you have time for you. What do you want to do?
- Angie Lopez: I like helping people.
- George Lopez: [laughs] No, seriously.
- Angie Lopez: [George and the kids ask Angie for help while she's working with charity people] That's it! A week ago you guys didn't need me for anything, but now that I've got something to do that I like, you're all helpless! Everybody, QUIT asking me to do things you should be doing for yourselves. I swear I never met a lazier bunch of people.
- [storms out]
- George Lopez: [the charity workers are staring at him] What are you looking at? Huh? Mind your own business!
- Angie Lopez: [pops her head in] They're DEAF, George.
- Angie Lopez: You know what I did today? I took a meal to an old woman. She thanked me, she hugged me... she thought I was Natalie Wood, but that's another story.
- George Lopez: Don't send anymore of your cases to my work.
- Angie Lopez: What happened with Marisol?
- George Lopez: She has a horrible attitude. You remember the guy that got fired and came back to shoot up the factory?
- Angie Lopez: Yeah.
- George Lopez: HE had a better attitude.
- Angie Lopez: George, it can't be that bad.
- George Lopez: Oh yeah? Well she and Ernie were playing chicken with forklifts, only Ernie wasn't on one, he was just running.
- George Lopez: You think if you don't try, you can't fail.
- Marisol: You don't know me.
- George Lopez: I don't know you? I *was* you, fool.
- Marisol: Hey I don't need this.
- George Lopez: So you're just gonna quit, big surprise.
- Ernie: It is to me. I thought she'd burn the place down.