- Maxwell Smart: Are you kidding? There's a man that's been murdered lying there on the pinball machine, and you want people to come in here and dance and drink and carry on?
- Bartender: Why not? They do it every night.
- Maxwell Smart: You mean there's a killing here every night?
- Maxwell Smart: Well, not every night. We're closed Mondays. But we have two on Saturday.
- Maxwell Smart: What day is this, Chief?
- Chief: Friday.
- [Smart blows a sigh of relief]
- 99: [on phone at home] Listen, by the way, thank you so much for the baby gift.
- Larabee: [on phone in office] Oh, did the store send it out already?
- 99: Yes, and it's absolutely adorable. I'm looking forward to meeting your wife so I can thank her in person.
- Larabee: You could have done that when you got the gift. That was my wife who delivered it.
- 99: Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I hope she won't be offended that I tipped her.
- Larabee: Well how much did you give her?
- 99: A dollar.
- Larabee: She wasn't offended.
- 99: Max, don't you realize what's happening, they're doing it to you too. You're turning old right before my eyes!
- Maxwell Smart: Now let's not panic, 99, just because I came home a little tired and my hair is turning a little gray, doesn't mean that I'm turning old.