Get Smart (TV Series)

Kisses for KAOS (1966)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chief of Control : [on phone]  I hope you're not in Lovers Lane by yourself, it could draw attention to you.

  Maxwell Smart : [on steering wheel phone]  Don't worry Chief, I have my Inflato-Girl with me.

• Agent 99 : [Maxwell, posing as 99's butler, places a bowl of soup with a hidden camera in front of Savage]  Try the soup, Rex, I think you'll like it.

  Savage : What kind is it?

  Maxwell Smart : Cream of Technicolor.

• Maxwell Smart : You'll never get away with this, Savage!

  Savage : Oh, why Mr. Smart?

  Maxwell Smart : Because, at this very minute, 25 CONTROL agents are converging on this building. Would you believe it? 25 CONTROL agents!

  Savage : I find that hard to beleive.

  Maxwell Smart : Would you believe 2 squad cars and a motorcycle cop?

  Savage : I don't think so.

  Maxwell Smart : How about a vicious street cleaner and a toothless police dog?

• Savage : [addressing #99]  Good evening. I'd be honored to offer my assistance to someone so attractive.

  Maxwell Smart : Why thank you, but it's the lady who's interested in buying a painting.

• Maxwell Smart : They think just because we're on the side of good that we're soft. But what they don't know is that we're tough and hard and do a very nice job.

• Maxwell Smart : Hello, Chief? Max. I'm in Lover's Lane. Listen, Chief, before I fill you in, I want you to give a message to Parker at the lab. Tell him there are a few adjustments needed on the steering wheel phone. Every time I turn the corner, I dial the operator.

• Agent 99 : Max, look at that Modern sculpture. It's made out of a dented hubcap, rusted fender, tin cans, nuts and bolts and a bicycle chain.

  Maxwell Smart : Yes, he's given us man's eternal struggle against the universe out of a pile of junk.

  Agent 99 : What's it called?

  Maxwell Smart : [reading a placard]  "A Pile of Junk".

• Maxwell Smart : [the intelligence report by way of a top secret relay rock proves inconclusive]  Well, either our boys are lying down on the job, or this rock is a forgery.

  Agent 99 : No, that's the official Control rock, Max. Look.

  Maxwell Smart : Oh yes, our name and address is on it.

  Maxwell Smart : [reads inscription]  If found drop in any mailbox.