Get Smart (TV Series)

Strike While the Agent Is Hot (1966)

Alan Dexter: KAOS Agent #2

Quotes 

• KAOS Agent #2 : Where did you shoot me?

  Maxwell Smart : Left chest.

  KAOS Agent #2 : Ah! Good!

  Maxwell Smart : Good?

  KAOS Agent #2 : As a KAOS agent, I get double indemnity for getting shot above the waist.

  Maxwell Smart : Double indemnity for being shot only once?

  KAOS Agent #2 : Not only that, if I'm shot and I don't die instantly my family gets an additional 25 per cent for suffering...

  Maxwell Smart : Unbelievable.

  KAOS Agent #2 : And if I survive my wounds, I get a guaranteed six weeks convalescence leave with pay.

  Maxwell Smart : With pay? You gotta be putting me on.

  KAOS Agent #2 : Not only that, we get to stay free in any resort on our KAOS credit card, American plan. Three superb meals a day. Tennis, golf, bingo parties, dance lessons and... free... funerals.

  [finally succumbs to his wounds] 

  Maxwell Smart : Lucky devil. Bingo parties? I didn't know KAOS was religious?