- Maxwell Smart: Looks like I've messed everything up.
- 99: Oh, don't feel badly Max, you've messed things up before and you'll mess things up again.
- Maxwell Smart: You're just saying that to make me feel good.
- 99: That's what a wife's for.
- Ingrid: Oh Mr. Smart, do you know you are extremely attractive?
- Maxwell Smart: Oh well, I wouldn't say that.
- Ingrid: Oh, you're very handsome.
- Maxwell Smart: That I would say, yes.
- Maxwell Smart: [Max is trying on a blue blazer] Are you kidding me, this is long enough to be an overcoat.
- Lin Chan: Ok, so you got long jacket or short overcoat.
- Maxwell Smart: Morning Ingrid, what are you doing?
- Ingrid: Oh yes, I was eh, looking for the coffeepot that disappeared yesterday.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh yes, well don't bother, it's probably cold by now.
- Ingrid: A nice old fashioned Swedish massage, wouldn't you like a massage?
- Maxwell Smart: Eh, yes, well, I, I just got married, Ingrid, I can't have a massage. Maybe in six months.
- Chief: [the Chief walks in to find Max and Ingrid lying on the couch] Max!
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, hi Chief, this is Ingrid, our massage she's giving me a maid.
- Maxwell Smart: Chief, I think I'd better explain to you what actually happened over there, you see, I lost a cufflink in the couch, and Ingrid was helping me look for it.
- Maxwell Smart: [the Chief gives Max a very stern look] Eh, would you believe a tie clasp?