- Maxwell Smart: [impersonating Humphrey Bogart] Where is everybody?
- Bartender: Banditos came through here an hour ago and took all our women.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, well, why didn't you go after them?
- Bartender: Have you ever seen our women?
- Chief: When KAOS hijacked that money from us yesterday, Max, it put is into deep financial trouble. This is Control's temporary headquarters.
- Maxwell Smart: In an elevator?
- Chief: It was this or the men's room.
- Chief: This may be the break we've been waiting for. I asked the CIA and FBI if they'd share some of their federal funds with us.
- [reads note]
- Maxwell Smart: It's a waste of time, Chief, you know what they'll tell you to do.
- Chief: I have to go to the city morgue right away.
- Maxwell Smart: See?
- C. Errol Madre: I've been waiting a long time, what do ya say we get started mañana?
- Maxwell Smart: Well, if it's all the same to you, Madre, I'd just as soon start tomorrow. Unless of course you wanna start mañana, it's up to you.
- Maxwell Smart: Who is it, Madre?
- C. Errol Madre: It's Goldmouth.
- Maxwell Smart: The Senator from Arizona?
- C. Errol Madre: The Bandito!
- C. Errol Madre: 2150 to headquarters -- is what Madre said when calling KAOS. It is a reprise of Crawford's often used line on his Highway Patrol series.