Get Smart (TV Series)
The Worst Best Man (1968)
Dick Gautier: Hymie
Photos
Quotes
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Oleg : Well, tomorrow night at the bachelor party for Smart we want you to blow up all the Control agents.
Hymie : I cannot do that. I am no longer a KAOS robot. I now work for Control.
Stanislaus : What got in to you, robot? When you worked for KAOS you used to kill and hello Dolly!
Oleg : Hello Dolly?
Stanislaus : Oh yeah, got wrong show
[hums a tune]
Stanislaus : Mame! You used to kill and maim.
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Hymie : [at Max' bachelor party] It's 5 minutes to 10, Max, I think we should show the movies now.
Maxwell Smart : Movies?
Hymie : Yes Max, I understand that's what they usually do at bachalor parties, show films.
Maxwell Smart : Oh, what have you got, Hymie?
Hymie : Oh, what have you got, Hymie? Well, it took a little doing, Max, but I managed to get these:
[hands over a list]
Maxwell Smart : [unfolds list eagerly] "Down the Colorado River by kayak". "The Wonderful World of Zinc" and "Holland, land of dykes and tulips".
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Chief : If you ask somebody to be your best man, it's a guarantee something will happen to him.
Hymie : How come you never asked me, Max? I always thought I was your best friend.
Maxwell Smart : Yes, well, you are my best friend, Hymie, but you're a robot. I need a best man, not a best thing.
Maxwell Smart : Sorry about that, Hymie, but, well, you see, it wouldn't be legal the other way. I need someone who can sign the marriage certificate and, and be a witness.
Hymie : I can sign it Max, I can also make copies.
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Chief : Now why would KAOS want to deal with every man you ask to be your best man?
# 99 : Why don't you ask Hymie, Max?
Maxwell Smart : That's a good idea, 99, Hymie...
Hymie : I accept, Max.
Maxwell Smart : No, Hymie, I wasn't going to ask you to be my best man, I was gonna ask you why KAOS is after every man that I ask to be my best man?