Get Smart (TV Series)

Too Many Chiefs (1965)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maxwell Smart : [having been kissed passionately by Tanya]  Well, I think I'd like to unpack my room, if you'll just show me to my bag.

• Chief : [the chief drinks a glass of Bourbon, thinking it's buttermilk to ease his throat]  That's not buttermilk!

  Maxwell Smart : You bet your sweet life it isn't!

• Chief : [choosing a double countersign]  Here's a good one. I'll say: 'The migrating birds fly low over the sea'. You say: 'Shadeless windows admit no light'. Then I'll say: 'The wingless dove protects its nest' and you'll say: 'The toothless tiger rules the restless jungle'. Have you got that?

  Maxwell Smart : Yes Chief.

  Chief : All right, let's try it. The migrating birds fly low over the sea.

  Maxwell Smart : The restless jungle admits no shades.

  Chief : No Max, no, I have the restless jungle, you have the shadeless windows and the wingless doves.

  Maxwell Smart : Oh, I thought you had the wingless doves and I had the shadeless windows.

  Chief : No, Max.

  Maxwell Smart : But how about this for a double countersign, Chief? You say: 'Hello Max' and I say: 'Hi, Chief' and you say...

  Chief : Smart!

• Insurance Man : [at the door of Max's apartment]  How do you do? I'm your mutual insurance agent?

  Maxwell Smart : Oh. Come right in.

  [the man does so, only to be karate-chopped in the neck by Max. The insurance man falls to the floor] 

  Tanya : Who is he?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, I'm not quite sure yet.

  [He takes the man's wallet out of his pocket and opens it] 

  Maxwell Smart : Aha, just as I thought. He's my mutual insurance agent.

  [the man starts coming around. Max helps him to his feet] 

  Maxwell Smart : All right, fella, come on, let's go. You've probably got a lot of calls to make. I'm sorry about that.

  Insurance Man : That's okay. A lot of people feel that way about insurance.

• Maxwell Smart : It's so simple! No wonder we were never able to crack that code. That's the way it always is, it's right there under your nose and you never see it. 'Marmalade'. Of course. And for two years we've been working on 'jelly'.

• Tanya : [wearing only a towel]  Oh, Maxie?

  Maxwell Smart : Yes, Tanya, what is it?

  Tanya : Do you have a bathrobe?

  Maxwell Smart : I certainly hope not.