Gilmore Girls (TV Series)

Here Comes the Son (2003)

Lauren Graham: Lorelai Gilmore

Quotes 

• Lorelai : Okay, um, little tip: the whole stalking thing works infinitely better when you don't actually smash your face in the window.

  Luke Danes : I need to talk to you.

  Lorelai : Come inside.

  Luke Danes : No, she - Rory's in there!

  Lorelai : Since when are you scared of Rory? Cause seriously, Luke, I think you can take her.

  Luke Danes : I just need to tell you something. Can she hear us?

  Lorelai : Through the walls? No, I put some kryptonite in her waffles. We're good.

• Lane Kim : I am. I have decided to make this whole Seventh Day Adventist College experience a good one. I'm gonna look on the bright side, find the silver lining, and make myself some lemonade.

  Lorelai : Well, good for you.

  Rory : The campus looks pretty.

  Lorelai : Very pretty.

  Lane Kim : It's got two huge parks with gardens and lakes.

  Lorelai : Two parks.

  Lane Kim : One for boys and one for girls.

  Rory : Huh.

  Lane Kim : And you know, I had originally thought that this was gonna be a suffocating place with out of date rules and insane restrictions, but boy was I wrong. For example, curfew is up to 9:30. 9:45 if you're going for your Masters. Makeup will be permitted, as long as it identically matches your skin tone. And owning a Rolling Stones CD is no longer grounds for expulsion. You can work the demerits off in the campus clean-up crew.

  Lorelai : [still in disbelief]  There's a separate park for boys?

  Lane Kim : [realizing]  My life is over.

• Lorelai : [after seeing a brochure to Lane's college]  Every kid in that brochure was awkward and panicked, it looked like the academy award audience during Michael Moore's speech.

• Rory : I can't finish all this and sleep at the same time.

  Lorelai : You have to sleep. It's what keeps you pretty.

  Rory : Who cares if I'm pretty if I fail my finals?

  Lorelai : Oh-kay. You've got this so completely backwards.

• Lorelai : Tell me what college you finally landed on.

  Paris Geller : I didn't.

  Lorelai : Well, what's it between?

  Paris Geller : Princeton, Columbia, and Yale.

  Lorelai : Good choices.

  Paris Geller : I'm really not that interested in Columbia, but the thought of me going there horrifies my mother so I have to keep it in the mix, you know?

  Lorelai : Do I ever.

  Paris Geller : Princeton's a good school, but Jamie goes there.

  Lorelai : That's your boyfriend?

  Paris Geller : Yes. He goes there, and if I go there, it's going to look like I went there just to be with him. Suddenly I'm Felicity without the hair issues and I'm not terribly comfortable with that.

  Lorelai : But look at it like this - not going to a school you wanna go to just because your boyfriend is there is just as bad as going to a school you don't wanna go to just because your boyfriend isn't there.

• Lorelai : Okay, I'm sorry. I just, I finally realized that I can't do this anymore. I can't come back here anymore, I'm done.

  Rory : Well, I'm sorry. I never should've asked you to pick me up.

  Lorelai : It's okay. It's good, actually. Now I can stop feeling guilty for not talking to them. I can go back to the way things were before. We share a nose and that's it.

• Rory : [Lorelai stops the car at the red light]  Oh, I can't believe you stopped.

  Lorelai : I can't believe you wanted me to go.

  Rory : There's no one around.

  Lorelai : Now no one's around, but the second I run that light, a police car, four helicopters, the Canadian mounties and the crew of Cops jump out of a dumpster and I'm toast.

  Rory : Paranoid.

  Lorelai : Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you, my friend.