Gilmore Girls (TV Series)

Take the Deviled Eggs... (2002)

Liz Torres: Miss Patty

Quotes 

• Taylor Doose : The bottom line is that too many birds are landing atop the streetlights and relieving themselves on helpless passersby. And I daresay that some of these birds seem to be doing it on purpose.

  Babette Dell : You get dumped on, Taylor?

  Taylor Doose : It's not just me.

  Luke Danes : Hey, if anybody has a picture of Taylor getting dumped on, I'll pay top dollar.

  Kirk Gleason : I'll check the internet.

  Miss Patty : Taylor, all animals have to... you know. How are you gonna stop birds from doing that?

  Taylor Doose : Easy. You put sharp metal spikes on the top of the fixtures. Then when they land, pow! They're shish kebab!

  Rory Gilmore : That's cruel.

  Babette Dell : You can't do that.

  Andrew : I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head.

  Lorelai Gilmore : There it is, our new town slogan.

  Rory Gilmore : I like it.

  Lorelai Gilmore : I see coffee mugs, T-shirts.

  Rory Gilmore : Don't forget the stuffed shish-kebab birds.

  Lorelai Gilmore : That moan when you squeeze them!

• Taylor Doose : There's one more issue that must be addressed before we can adjourn. All right. Now, that weird, taciturn fellow who's always walking around with his backpack has put in an absurd request to stage a protest in the town square.

  Lorelai Gilmore : The town loner?

  Luke Danes : That guy still lives around here?

  Babette Dell : Somewhere in the hills, right?

  Lorelai Gilmore : I thought he was long gone.

  Andrew : No, he came into the bookstore a couple times last month, never said a word.

  Miss Patty : He's a bit creepy.

  Taylor Doose : Very creepy.

  Lorelai Gilmore : But he's our Boo Radley, and we don't have a Boo Radley, unless you count the troubadour or Pete the pizza guy or the guy who talks to mailboxes.

• Taylor Doose : Could this meeting be more disrupted?

  Lorelai Gilmore : I could do a soft shoe.

  Rory Gilmore : Yeah, while I pound out a beat on the bongos.

  Babette Dell : Ooh, that sounds like fun!

  Miss Patty : I got bongos in the back!

  Taylor Doose : Seeing as how our attention spans are gnat-like tonight, as town Selectman I am refusing the town loner's request to protest and I am adjourning this meeting.