- Luke Danes: You look like you need pie.
- Rory: I do?
- Luke Danes: Violent pencil-tossing usually signals a need for pie.
- Rory: What if I'd thrown a pen?
- Luke Danes: I would've brought you a trout.
- Rory: What?
- Luke Danes: I don't make the rules, I just carry them out.
- Lorelai: I hate when I'm an idiot and don't know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy, to really revel in it, take pictures. I feel we've missed a prime Christmas card opportunity.
- Lorelai: Sweetie you're never gonna find the deer.
- Rory: Well I'm gonna try.
- Lorelai: Well I'm in heels!
- Rory: Well stay in the car.
- Lorelai: It's dangerous in the car with all the kamikaze deer running around...
- [getting out of the car]
- Rory: I have to find it.
- Lorelai: Alright, wait up! So what does the deer look like? Huh? Does it have any distinguishing marks - besides the word 'Jeep' imprinted on its forehead?
- Lorelai: I'll still love you... even if you can't support me in my old age in the fabulous manner to which I plan on growing accustomed.
- [during Lorelai's outburst in Headmaster Charleston's office]
- Max Medina: [to Headmaster Charleston] I didn't call this place a rathole.
- Lorelai: No, it's true. I added that.
- Lorelai: Ooh, hey, legal pads.
- Rory: No. Those are purple.
- Lorelai: Yes, purple is festive.
- Rory: I can't have purple.
- Lorelai: Yes you can, they're on sale.
- Rory: I'm going to a serious school now, I need serious paper.
- Lorelai: Paper's paper.
- Rory: Not at Chilton.
- Lorelai: All right, fine. Here is your serious paper.
- Rory: Thank you.
- Lorelai: Ooh, and here are you somber highlighters, your maudlin pencils, your manic-depressive pens...
- Rory: Mom...
- Lorelai: Now these erasers are on lithium, so they may seem cheerful but we actually caught them trying to shove themselves in the pencil sharpener earlier.
- Rory: I'm going home now.
- Lorelai: No wait! We're going to stage an intervention with the neon Post-Its and make them give up their wacky, crazy ways.
- Rory: You're never coming shopping with me again.