- Lorelai: Hey, what do you think of Luke?
- Rory: What do you mean?
- Lorelai: I mean, do you think he's cute?
- Rory: Oh, no. No way.
- Lorelai: No way what?
- Rory: You cannot date Luke.
- Lorelai: I said nothing about dating Luke.
- Rory: If you date him, you'll break up, and we'll never be able to eat there again.
- Lorelai: I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke.
- Rory: Date Al from Pancake World, his food stinks.
- Lorelai: I cannot believe what I'm hearing. Al's food does not stink, Al stinks.
- Lorelai: [to the harpist] Drella, please, a little softer.
- Drella: Hey, do I look like I got "Panasonic" stamped on my ass?
- Rory: [about the Chilton students] They kept calling me "Mary."
- Lorelai: You're kidding me. Wow, I cannot believe they still say that!
- Rory: What?
- Lorelai: Mary, like Virgin Mary. It means they think you look like a goody-goody.
- Rory: You're kidding.
- Lorelai: No.
- Rory: Well, what would have called me if they thought I looked like a slut?
- Lorelai: Well, they might have added a "Magdalene" to it.
- [Lorelai is begging for coffee]
- Luke Danes: I can give you herbal tea and a Balance bar.
- Lorelai: Please, please, please tell me you're kidding.
- Luke Danes: [going to fetch the coffee pot] I'm kidding.