Gilmore Girls (TV Series)

The Prodigal Daughter Returns (2005)

Lauren Graham: Lorelai Gilmore

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sookie : I can't believe you didn't do anything to the kitchen.

  Lorelai Gilmore : What are you talking about? Look at the brand-new napkin holder. It used to be a cow. Now it's a much bigger cow.

• Michel Gerard : I got a call from someone who wanted a job reference for Rory.

  Lorelai Gilmore : What?

  Michel Gerard : Don't worry. I said nice things. I did not mention how she used to steal stamps and sit in my chair. I said she was very responsible and a hard worker, and now you owe me the weekend off.

• Luke Danes : A real man doesn't use a charcoal chimney.

  Jackson : Oh, so now I'm not a real man?

  Sookie : He is too. I have pictures to prove it.

  Jackson : Do you have a spray bottle?

  Luke Danes : For what?

  Jackson : To spray the flames down if they get too high. Or do you just use a hose?

  Lorelai Gilmore : No, he blows them out with his man-breath.

  Sookie : And then he challenges them to an arm-wrestling contest.

  Lorelai Gilmore : And then he insults the flame's mother and sleeps with its girlfriend!

• Lorelai Gilmore : [Sitting on luke's lap]  I want a Barbie, and a pony and roller skates, and some roller skates for the Barbie and for the pony...

• Luke Danes : I thought you'd be happy!

  Lorelai Gilmore : Yeah, I am, but sad at the same time. Never been with a woman before?

• Lorelai Gilmore : What if Jackson brought home a set of his grandmother's pots and pans? Now, obviously, you need some pots and pans, and these are free and all, but they're really old. And you don't want to hurt Jackson's feelings 'cause he feels very sentimental about the pans, but they've got fat cherubs carved all over them, and you just don't want them.

  Sookie : Do the cherubs interfere with the actual cooking function, or are they just decorative?

  Lorelai Gilmore : Well, decorative is a wildly generous description, but function's fine.

  Sookie : What happened to my old pots and pans?

  Lorelai Gilmore : Uuh... Gone. Thrown out.

  Sookie : Can I get them back?

  Lorelai Gilmore : Babette's nephew, Gary, is sleeping on them.

  Sookie : Sleeping on them?

  Lorelai Gilmore : I'm not really talking about pans, Sookie.

• Lorelai Gilmore : [about a plate of nachos]  Are they different?

  Luke Danes : Different than what?

  Lorelai Gilmore : They seem different.

  Luke Danes : They're nachos, now eat them.

  Lorelai Gilmore : You used baked chips.

  Luke Danes : What?

  Lorelai Gilmore : You did, didn't you; you used baked chips and low fat cheese!

  Luke Danes : I did not use... low fat cheese.

  Lorelai Gilmore : HA!

  Luke Danes : How can you tell?

  Lorelai Gilmore : How could you lie?

  Luke Danes : They taste the same!

  Lorelai Gilmore : [sighs]  Oh the trust. Luke how are we gonna make it if you're constantly trying to keep me healthy?

  Luke Danes : Fine, die at 60.

  Lorelai Gilmore : Bring me a doughnut while I wait!