- Lorelai Gilmore: We're not gonna have this fight in a flowery bedroom with dentists singing "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" in the background. It's too David Lynch!
- Lorelai Gilmore: Okay, I think we just found the first room in the history of the world that would've made Liberace say 'Whoa. Step back. No one's that gay.'
- Lorelai Gilmore: Hmmmm. They're taller.
- Rory Gilmore: Not this again.
- Lorelai Gilmore: There's more of them.
- Rory Gilmore: Mom, the flowers on the wallpaper are not growing or reproducing.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Mom, I may never get married. I may be a free spirit my whole life, or fall in love with a separated Catholic guy like Katharine Hepburn did, and then not get to go to his funeral when he dies.
- Lorelai Gilmore: [looking in her purse for food] Hey look!
- Rory Gilmore: What?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Certs!
- Rory Gilmore: Really?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I can't for the life of me remember the last time I bought Certs.
- Rory Gilmore: Gross!
- Lorelai Gilmore: Look, they're fuzzy.
- Lorelai Gilmore: [later] Rory?
- Rory Gilmore: What?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I ate the fuzzy Certs.
- Rory Gilmore: What?
- Lorelai Gilmore: They tasted like keys.
- Rory Gilmore: Ew! We need to get you some food.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Bless you!