- Snowman: Ah, Christmas. Everyone looks forward to the holidays, but can you imagine for a moment Christmas never happening? Well, I remember long ago a Christmas that almost wasn't in a place called the North Pole!
- Santa Claus: You monster!
- Major Dr. Ghastly: Sorry, Santa.
- [She puts Hector on Santa in remorse]
- Major Dr. Ghastly: Chief?
- Hector Con Carne: Yes, Major Doctor. I am now Santa Claus. Ho ho ho ho! This will work perfectly! No one will be able to stop me. Now that I have been successfully inserted into Santa's body, my troops can proceed with inserting the mind control devices, I will have an unstoppable army!
- Snowman: I got to do something!
- Rupert The Reindeer: [while lifting weights] Two hundred ninety six, Two hundred ninety seven, Two hundred ninety eight, Two hundred ninety nine, three hundred million!
- Snowman: Rupert, something terrible has happened! Someone has taken over Santa's mind and the North Pole! They plan to put mind controlling devices in all the presents to take over... the world!
- Rupert The Reindeer: That doesn't concern me. Ever since the other reindeer shunned me from playing any reindeer games, I've chosen to live here in isolation.
- Snowman: Ah. Don't you see, Rupert? Now's your chance to shine! You could go down in history as the reindeer that saved Christmas!
- Rupert The Reindeer: Huh?
- General Skarr: [to Ghastly] So, the doctor said it's nothing to worry about. He said the strange bumps will go away with time. You don't know how relieved I was.
- Santa Claus: But, the toys! They're loaded with mind control devices!
- Rupert The Reindeer: These people have no honor!
- Hector Con Carne: Hahahaha, I'll just have to drop the toys off myself.
- [sees Rupert]
- Hector Con Carne: Rupert? Guards, stop him!
- Santa Claus: Rupert, with your muscles and might, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
- Rupert The Reindeer: It will be my honor.
- General Skarr: [Hector, Ghastly and Skarr open up their presents, which contain coal] Coal again this year?
- Santa Claus: Ho ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- Hector Con Carne: Bah! I always liked Halloween better, anyways.
- Disclaimer: Merry Christmas is a trademark of the X-Mas Corporation and should not be repeated without written permission.
- Santa Claus: So, are we almost ready?
- Hector Con Carne: [Using an elf puppet] Yes, master.
- Santa Claus: Ho ho ho, splendid! Soon, children all over the world will... Wait a second. Aren't you a little tall to be an elf? In fact, I don't think I know you.
- Hector Con Carne: Maybe, this will help.
- [Boskov whacks Santa]
- Hector Con Carne: Attack!
- General Skarr: Fire the snowbombs!
- Santa Claus: Protect the presents!
- Hector Con Carne: Keep those mind controlling devices coming!
- [Sees Rupert]
- Hector Con Carne: Stop that deer! Fire the snowbombs! Hahahaha! Now, with you out of the way, there's nothing to stop me from taking over the world. Hahahaha!
- Rupert The Reindeer: Take control of yourself, Santa. Fight his mind control!
- Hector Con Carne: It's no use. Santa Claus is completely under my control.
- Rupert The Reindeer: Come on, Santa! I know you can hear me. The children of the world are depending on you!
- Hector Con Carne: What's happening?
- Santa Claus: The children. I'm taking my body back!
- [Santa removes Hector from his head]
- Hector Con Carne: Guards, attack! Fall back to the ship! We've got to deliver the toys to the children!