The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy (TV Series)

Keeper of the Reaper (2006)

Richard Steven Horvitz: Billy, Billy's Dad, Juror #10, Monster #3

Quotes 

• Mandy : How would you rate Billy as a caregiver?

  Jeff the Spider : Uh, pretty good, I guess. Except that he's never remembered my birthday, or payed child support. In fact, he usually just jabs me with a big stick.

  [Billy jabs him with a big stick] 

  Jeff the Spider : Ow!

  Billy : I'll jab you good, you filthy bug!

  Jeff the Spider : Why don't you love me dad? I'll be anything you want me to be!

  Billy : I want you to be dead!

• Billy's Mom : Oh, my stars and garters! What happened in here?

  Billy : Grim conjured up this...

  Fred Fredburger : Hey, who's that lady?

  Billy : That's my momma.

  Fred Fredburger : Does she make cookies?

  Billy's Mom : Sometimes.

  Fred Fredburger : Well, sometimes, my mom makes me cookies... with chocolate chips, and sometimes, she makes me peanut butter bars, and sometimes, she doesn't make me anything... Chocolate chip is my favorite. Yes.

  Billy : Oooooookaaay.

• Billy : [singing]  Please vote me the keeper of the reaper/ I wanna be the keeper of the reaper/ His skinny white bones are mine to own/ To do with as I see fit/ Give him to me and I promise my love won't quit!

  Mandy : I disagree 'bout the keeper of the reaper/ It should be me who's the keeper of the reaper/ Grim's not a toy for an idiot boy/ Who can't even tie his shoes/ If Billy wins, then we all surely lose!

  Grim, The Grim Reaper : Don't *I* get a say about the keeper of the reaper?/ I'll make you all pay for the keeper of the reaper!/ All my rage is bottled up in this cage/ Held back by these iron bars/ I'll never get rid of these mental scars!

  Judge Roy Spleen : I don't care who's the keeper of the reaper/ I'm losin' my hair over keeper of the reaper/ A mountain of stress is crushing my chest/ I'm going blind in one eye/ And its all be-cause of that stupid guy!

  Fred Fredburger : Don't worry! I found some nachos! Yes.

  [Judge Spleen hits him on the head with the gavel] 

  Fred Fredburger : OW!

  Billy : [rapping]  Time to make you ill, old school style!

  [reverts back to singing] 

  Billy : Grim is the corner in my square!

  Mandy : Grim's the chocolate in my eclair.

  Billy : Grim is the freshener in my air!

  Mandy : Grim's the conditioner in my hair.

  Billy : GRIM'S THE PIC-A-NIC IN MY BEAR!

  Mandy : Grim is the cushion in my chair.

  Billy : Grim is the renaissance in my fair!

  Mandy : Grim is the anger in my stare.

  Billy : Grim is the stain in my underwear!

  Mandy : Somehow I knew you were gonna go there.

• Mandy : Objection! He's leading the witness!

  Billy : I'm not leading him! I'm just trying to make him say exactly what I want him to say!

• Mandy : I'd like to call the court's attention to exhibit A,

  [pulls out Civil War cap] 

  Mandy : a hat that belonged to another of Bily's pet, one Wiggy Jiggy Jed. That is, until Billy destroyed him.

  Billy : I had a good reason! He bored me!

  Mandy : And what will happen when Grim bores you? Will you destroy *him*, too?

• Juror #10 : How many times do I have to tell you? This is MY house!

  Fred Fredburger : Yes!

• Fred Fredburger : [viewing a flashback]  Hey, who's that man?

  Billy : That's my dad.

  Fred Fredburger : Ah, you look like him!

  Billy's Dad : He'd better look like me.

  [points at his wife] 

  Billy's Dad : 'Cause if he looked like *you*, he'd be PRETTY!