Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Col. Hogan, is it true the big shot is going to be a private?
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Yeah, just for a few hours, Schultz. It's an intelligence matter.
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Under my command?
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Right, right.
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Oh, it's a trick just to get me into trouble.
Col. Robert E. Hogan: No, no, Schultz. It's on the level. Here comes Pvt. Klink now.
Col. Wilhelm Klink: [to Hogan] Did you explain it to him?
[Hogan nods]
Col. Wilhelm Klink: Now, Schultz, I want you to treat me as you would any private under your command. Understood?
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Understood.
Col. Wilhelm Klink: I don't want any special favors, any special treatment...
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: You, you, you... you are a private?
Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, I am.
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Then SHUT UP!
Col. Wilhelm Klink: How dare you tell me...
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Achtung! Eyes front! Put the helmet straight! Chest out, stomach in! Answer only when you are spoken to.
Col. Wilhelm Klink: Jawohl!
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Jawohl what?
Col. Wilhelm Klink: Jawohl, Herr Feldwebel!
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: THAT'S better. About face! Fall in with the rest of them, you dummkopf! Eyes straight.
[Klink scurries off]
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: [to Hogan] Oh, it feels so good.