Home Improvement (TV Series)

Roomie for Improvement (1992)

Tim Allen: Tim Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tim : If I ever said it was hard living with you, just say one word, "Al".

  Jill : It's that bad, huh?

  Tim : His mother recorded his whole life on video tape. Last night it was three hours of Muskie Fishing With Uncle Phil. Did you know that in the seventh grade he built a replica of the Washington Monument out of popcicle sticks?

  Jill : Lot's of kids do stuff like that.

  Tim : It was life sized.

• Tim : [Al has locked him out]  Al, you can't end it like this. We've had a relationship for three years.

  Al : It's over between us.

  Tim : Al, open the door.

  Al : No. You should never have made that recording of me in bed.

• Tim : [to Jill]  It's much better kissing you. Al's beard was so scratchy. At least you shave.

• Al : It's difficult to go through life with a deviated septum.

  Tim : It could be worse. You could be working at the circus as Al the Donkey Boy.

• Tim : [about a hotel room]  The bed was like sleeping on a bag of rocks.

  Jill : And the room was so small.

  Tim : Small? It was so small the mice were hunchback. It was so small that when I put my key through the door it went out the window. It was so small all you could order was condenced milk. I had a folding toothbrush. It was so small there was no room for complaint.