- Ronald Lynch: Well, good morning!
- Brendon, Jason Penopolis, Melissa Robbins: [together, sing-songy] Good morning, Mr. Lynch.
- Ronald Lynch: You kids excited about the Halloween Party on Saturday?
- Brendon, Jason Penopolis, Melissa Robbins: Yes, Mr. Lynch.
- Ronald Lynch: Stop doing that.
- Brendon, Jason Penopolis, Melissa Robbins: Yes, Mr. Ly...
- Ronald Lynch: Stop!
- Brendon: [McGuirk is laying in a hospital bed] Coach, what are you doing here?
- Coach McGuirk: I'm dying, Brendon. I'm dying.
- Coach McGuirk: No, really.
- Brendon: Well, I had a heart attack.
- Brendon: Wow, you *are* dying.
- Brendon: Jason, I heard. You gonna be OK?
- Melissa Robbins: I had to smack him a few times.
- Jason Penopolis: Yeah, she did.
- Brendon: She did, really? How was it?
- Jason Penopolis: I loved it.
- Melissa Robbins: Me too!
- Coach McGuirk: [Melissa enters Coach McGuirk's hospital room in her Halloween costume] Oh my god it's death!
- Melissa Robbins: Coach, it's me, Melissa.
- Coach McGuirk: [sarcastically] Oh my god it's Melissa.
- Melissa Robbins: This is my costume.
- Coach McGuirk: Hey, you know Melissa, you probably shouldn't be walking around the hospital dressed as death.
- Melissa Robbins: [Melissa finds Jason in a closet on a sugar binge] Jason? Oh my gosh, what are you drinking?
- Jason Penopolis: Glucose. Go away.
- Melissa Robbins: I will not go away!
- Jason Penopolis: You... . You made me this way!
- Melissa Robbins: [hugs Jason] It's gonna be OK.
- Jason Penopolis: Candy...
- Melissa Robbins: No more candy...
- Jason Penopolis: ...candy... I need more! Let go of me Melissa! Let go!
- Melissa Robbins: I'll never let go!
- Jason Penopolis: Let go you crappy bitch!
- Melissa Robbins: [Melissa slaps Jason] Snap out of it!
- [She slaps him again]
- Jason Penopolis: Oww!
- Melissa Robbins: Now listen to me!
- Jason Penopolis: No!
- [She slaps him again]
- Jason Penopolis: Ow!
- Melissa Robbins: You want another one?
- Jason Penopolis: [quieter] No, please.
- Melissa Robbins: I'm sorry I had to do that again.
- [She slaps him]
- Jason Penopolis: Alright, alright. I'm calm. I'm calm.
- [She slaps him again]
- Jason Penopolis: Ow! Melissa, I said I was calm.
- Melissa Robbins: Sorry, it looked like you were going to act up again.
- Jason Penopolis: No, I said I was calm. That's why I said it.
- Melissa Robbins: Jason!
- [She backhands him]
- Jason Penopolis: Ah! Melissa, I...
- Melissa Robbins: No talking back!
- Jason Penopolis: I'm not ta...
- Melissa Robbins: No, you listen to me!
- Jason Penopolis: I am.
- Melissa Robbins: I need you to *calm* *down*!
- Jason Penopolis: I told you, Melissa, I...
- Melissa Robbins: I don't wanna have to.
- [She slaps him twice]
- Jason Penopolis: [still calm] Melissa, please, stop slapping me.
- Melissa Robbins: Calm... down... Jason. Jason!
- [She slaps him]
- Jason Penopolis: [getting agitated again] Ow! I'm not...!
- Melissa Robbins: What has gotten into you?
- Jason Penopolis: I am calm! I'm... .
- [she starts slapping him repeatedly]
- Jason Penopolis: Ow! I'm calm! Melissa, stop slapping, I'm calm!
- Melissa Robbins: It's gonna be OK!
- [She slaps him again]
- Jason Penopolis: Oww!
- Melissa Robbins: [Lynch is bruised and bandaged in a wheel chair, still in his cat costume] Mr. Lynch, what happened?
- Ronald Lynch: What happened? I fell down a fucking flight of fucking stairs because I was looking for your ass, meow.
- Doctor: That's just the drugs talking.
- Coach McGuirk: Wow, I... I like those. Can I have those? The ones that make you go 'meow'?
- Ronald Lynch: Meow.
- Coach McGuirk: Doctor?
- Doctor: I'll call the pharmacy. Who wants drugs?
- Stephanie: But, at least we say there's an afterlife.
- Coach McGuirk: Right, but there's no afterlife.
- Stephanie: Well, yes there is. We all know that.
- Coach McGuirk: Well, we all don't, 'cause who says there is?
- Stephanie: Well, I say there is. We say there is.
- Coach McGuirk: Right, but I say there's not, because there isn't. But I'm not good at arguing.