- John Munch: [to Faris] What are you gonna do, hit me? C'mon, hit me!... Or do you only hit women? Stay away from the girl, Faris.
- John Munch: Billie Lou, how many husbands have you had?
- Billie Lou Hatfield: Three...
- John Munch: And how many wives have I had?
- Billie Lou Hatfield: Three...
- John Munch: That's six exes between us!
- Rene Sheppard: These Terrace girls aren't talking.
- Laura Ballard: [livid] Maybe if we sported a couple of orange bandanas!
- Jay Faris: [about Billie Lou] Geez, you marryin' that wacko? From what I hear she likes to play the violin with her boobs hangin' out!