- Russ Conley: Wait till the boys back at the office hear about this, Kelly. You must be leading a fat life to fall for a pair of shoes.
- Alexander Scott: You know Tricky Dick?
- Kelly Robinson: Know him? He almost flunked me in Advanced Blowing Up Suspension Bridges. Meet my instructor from indoctrination school.
- Kelly Robinson: [Standing before the hulking store manager] Uh, yes, well, actually, since you advertise yourselves as shippers and exporters, I demand, sir...
- Kwan Tak: Demand?
- Kelly Robinson: Uh, well, perhaps, actually the word "demand" is not exactly what I had in mind. Uh, let's see, the word "implore" or "entreat" would be more in line.
- Kelly Robinson: [as the angry, hulking manager comes closer] They were fireworks for my nephew. It's his birthday. He's the son of my sister, and they're visiting here, and I thought, well, what more natural gift than some extraordinary thing that you extraordinary people are so extraordinary with?
- Kelly Robinson: [Prisoners in the locked room] Well, you blew it!
- Alexander Scott: I blew it?
- Kelly Robinson: How many hours does a man have to hold off Genghis Khan and his cavalry?
- Alexander Scott: Listen, a four-year-old child could have held off those dancing elves.
- Kelly Robinson: Well, fortunately, this is not the worst fine mess you've gotten us into.
- Kelly Robinson: You weren't just a good instructor, Russ. You were something else. I've stayed alive because of what you've taught me.
- Russ Conley: Fine.
- Kelly Robinson: Something you said once I've never forgot. "In espionage we look upon the face of evil everyday. We must all be on guard not to become corrupted..."
- Russ Conley: "... by facing evil with a greater evil of our own."