Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Problems with Relatives (1991)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hyacinth : I one caught Richard playing with a frizbee. He says it was one he'd found, but I've never been sure. Sometimes, on sleepless nights, when my head's swimming with the responsibilities of organizing another candlelight supper, sometimes I wonder: did he *buy* the frizbee?

• The Missionary : [a young Jehovah's witness is leaving Hyacinth's house]  I've only ever had to remove my shoes once before.

  Hyacinth : Oh?

  The Missionary : And that was in a mosque. And then, the sermon was shorter!

• [last lines] 

  Hyacinth : I think what we'll do is to take Daddy in this direction. He's always liked this direction.

• Hyacinth : I once caught Richard playing with a frizbee. He says it was one he'd found, but I've never been sure. Sometimes, on sleepless nights, when my head's swimming with the responsibilities of organizing another candlelight supper, sometimes I wonder: did he *buy* the frizbee?

• Hyacinth : I think it's terribly careless of you, Daisy, to lose Daddy.

  Daisy : Nobody's perfect.

  Onslow : You can't keep 'em in if they want to roam. We had a bull terrier who was just the same.

  Hyacinth : I don't think I care for that comparison, Onslow.

  Daisy : It cured him when we had him doctored.

  Hyacinth : Or that one.

  Onslow : Well, we had to stop him biting the postwoman.

• the Registrar : [Hyacinth's father is in the Registry office but has nodded off, and the registrar is trying to wake him. But Hyacinth thinks she is the woman her father went there to marry]  Can you give me a hand with him?

  Hyacinth : Madam, I will not lift a FINGER to assist you towards matrimony with this man! He's in no fit condition to be...

  the Registrar : Now, let's not get excited. I think he's just asleep.

  Hyacinth : You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Forcing Daddy into marriage, when you can see how uninterested he is in the demands of the flesh!

  the Registrar : [to Richard]  What is she talking about?

  Richard Bucket : Listen, if it's all the same to you, I ought to be getting back. I had to leave a meeting.

  Hyacinth : But you can't go now, Richard! I want you to prefer charges against this woman!

  Richard Bucket : On what grounds?

  Hyacinth : Kidnapping!

  [to the stunned registrar] 

  Hyacinth : If I hadn't arrived in the nick of time, you'd have whipped him away into wedlock!

  the Registrar : Oh what is the woman talking about... Madam, I AM THE REGISTRAR!