King of the Hill (TV Series)

Dang Ol' Love (2002)

Stephen Root: Bill Dauterive, Steven

Photos 

Quotes 

• [giving a despondent Boomhauer a midnight pep talk] 

  Bill Dauterive : I know how tough it is for you right now, curled up lying in your own emotional vomit. You're in hell now, Boomhauer, and the only way out is through a long dark tunnel. And you're afraid to go in because there's a train coming at you, carrying a boxcar full of heartbreak. Well, let me tell you something: All you can do is let it hit you, and then try to find your legs. I know. I've taken that hit more times than I can remember. Look at me, Boomhauer. I'm fat, and I'm old, and every day I'm just going to wake up fatter and older. Yet somehow I manage to drag this fat old bald bastard out into the alley every day. I'm out there, digging holes, falling into them, climbing out, trying again. And tomorrow I'm going to hang outside at a ladies' prison, and the first thing those lady cons are going to see after twenty years is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive, you'd better believe it. You've got to get up off that cannon bed, slip into a tight T-shirt, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself out of that tunnel and into some strange woman's bed!

• Bill Dauterive : You know, Larry and Wayne may have been imaginary, but they were a lot more supportive than you.

  Dale Gribble : You didn't hear what they were saying behind yer back.

• [last lines] 

  [Bill is giving a just-released female ex-convict a ride home] 

  Bill Dauterive : So what were you in for?

  Alicia : [masculine voice]  Killed my boyfriend.

  Bill Dauterive : Does that mean you're single?

• Bill Dauterive : Aw, Boo-hoo-hoo-hauer. I bet now you wish you'd only slept with 100 ladies instead of 101. Now you know how they all felt -- except that one that did it to you!

• Bill Dauterive : For a rich woman she buys pretty flimsy underwear. Where's her ass supposed to go?