King of the Hill (TV Series)

Hank's Dirty Laundry (1998)

Stephen Root: Bill Dauterive, Buck Strickland

Quotes 

• [Hank is stunned speechless to find all sorts of pornographic paraphernalia spilling out of his mailbox] 

  Bill Dauterive : SHAME on you, Hank Hill! What you do in the privacy of your own home is disgusting enough but for it to spill out into the streets where my future children will someday play? SHAME!

  [Bill walks across the street to his house; he then turns back to yell] 

  Bill Dauterive : SHAME!

• Bill Dauterive : I'm glad I'm not the only one who is disgusted by pornography. It's offensive! It's demeaning! It creates a standard of idealized beauty that your average man can't compete with.

  Hank Hill : Don't worry, Bill, I'm not going to let my credit and good name be done in by a damn computer error.

  Dale Gribble : Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose. By now your name and particulars have been fed into every laptop, desktop, mainframe and supermarket scanner that collectively make up the global information conspiracy, otherwise known as The Beast.

  Hank Hill : Dale, I'm having a problem with one videotape, not some high-tech boogeyman.

  Dale Gribble : You just be careful. Computers have already beaten the Communists at chess. Next thing you know, they'll be beating humans.