King of the Hill (TV Series)

Junkie Business (1998)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hank Hill : Mr. Harrington, you seem to have a few gaps here in your work history.

  Mr. Harrington : Well '33 to '45, FDR was in the white house, so I was on the welfare, you know. And in the 60's, we had a Kennedy and LBJ, so I was on the welfare. And then '77 to '81, Jimmy Carter, so I was on the welfare.

• Hank Hill : Bobby, how would you like to help me out around the shop for a few days. I can't pay you, but you can have all the snacks you want. We've got fruit pies, pretzels, all kinds of Newtons.

  Bobby Hill : You had me at fruit pies.

• Leon Petard : I wasn't late, I was early. I got here at -- what time are we open?

  Hank Hill : Eight o'clock.

  Leon Petard : Yeah, I got here at seven, and you weren't here, so I went to get some coffee, right? But the waitress, turns out her dog was sick, so I thought, hey, if I take her dog to the vet, she might buy some propane, you know, from us. So there's this line at the vet, because of this farm accident -- but try to keep it quiet, she might not hear about it -- but here I am with a customer's dog, and I just can't leave her. So I promise I'll never come to work early again.

  Hank Hill : Well, that sure is a long story.

  Leon Petard : Yeah, that's how you know it's true. So let's sell some gas! Team Strickley rules!

• Hank Hill : Customer. Jason, can you get that?

  Jason Adderly : Sorry, Hank, I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. If I get out of this chair, Garth Brooks is gonna die.

  Hank Hill : Joe Jack, can you get that customer?

  Joe Jack : [into the phone]  Ha, ha, ha!

  [looks up] 

  Joe Jack : Much too angry, honey.

  Hank Hill : Melinda, a little help please?

  Melinda : Ohh! Too bloated!

• Hank Hill : If you could eat at Luly's with one of the following, would it be - A. Jesus, B. Mohammed, C. Golda Meir?