- Mr. Strickland: Hell, I'd kill for a big fat blind gay guy if we could just get some work done around here.
- Hank Hill: Mr. Harrington, you seem to have a few gaps here in your work history.
- Mr. Harrington: Well '33 to '45, FDR was in the white house, so I was on the welfare, you know. And in the 60's, we had a Kennedy and LBJ, so I was on the welfare. And then '77 to '81, Jimmy Carter, so I was on the welfare.
- Hank Hill: Bobby, how would you like to help me out around the shop for a few days. I can't pay you, but you can have all the snacks you want. We've got fruit pies, pretzels, all kinds of Newtons.
- Bobby Hill: You had me at fruit pies.
- Leon Petard: I wasn't late, I was early. I got here at -- what time are we open?
- Hank Hill: Eight o'clock.
- Leon Petard: Yeah, I got here at seven, and you weren't here, so I went to get some coffee, right? But the waitress, turns out her dog was sick, so I thought, hey, if I take her dog to the vet, she might buy some propane, you know, from us. So there's this line at the vet, because of this farm accident -- but try to keep it quiet, she might not hear about it -- but here I am with a customer's dog, and I just can't leave her. So I promise I'll never come to work early again.
- Hank Hill: Well, that sure is a long story.
- Leon Petard: Yeah, that's how you know it's true. So let's sell some gas! Team Strickley rules!
- Hank Hill: Customer. Jason, can you get that?
- Jason Adderly: Sorry, Hank, I suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. If I get out of this chair, Garth Brooks is gonna die.
- Hank Hill: Joe Jack, can you get that customer?
- Joe Jack: [into the phone] Ha, ha, ha!
- [looks up]
- Joe Jack: Much too angry, honey.
- Hank Hill: Melinda, a little help please?
- Melinda: Ohh! Too bloated!
- Hank Hill: If you could eat at Luly's with one of the following, would it be - A. Jesus, B. Mohammed, C. Golda Meir?