King of the Hill (TV Series)

Keeping Up with Our Joneses (1997)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hank Hill : For god's sakes Bobby. What nationality are you?

  Bobby Hill : American.

  Hank Hill : Then why are you holding your cigarette like some kind of European Nazi in a movie?

  Bobby Hill : Why does it matter?

  Hank Hill : Now that's not the right sort of attitude for you to have. Whatever you do you should do right, even if it's something wrong.

• Hank Hill : You're callin' me weak? Look at your little birdy arms, they're no thicker than a cigarette! I could smoke them little arms!

• Hank Hill : [Peggy has the last cigarette]  Come on, Bobby, you and me can take her. You go high and I'll go low.

• Boomhauer : Y'all listen up, man. This is Boomhauer

  [holds up a clean air filter] 

  Boomhauer : . This is your lungs on air.

  [holds up a dirty air filter] 

  Boomhauer : This is your lungs on smoke. See the difference, man? It's going to stunt your growth all over, you'll end up lyin' in that dang ol' hospital bed like Morton Downey, Jr., Robert Downey, Jr. even worse, man, yo. Talk about oral gratification all that dang it, is going to give you a low sperm count, man, give ear hair, yo. It just ain't... ain't no good.

• Hank Hill : [irritated with the anti-smoking group leader]  I've got the strangest feeling someone's going to kick his ass.

• Bobby Hill : [to Hank about the anti-smoking group]  Come on dad open up

  Cigarenders Leader : Aw is this your son? It's beautiful how you came to support your daddy

  Bobby Hill : I'm a smoker too

  [the group gasps in shock] 

  Cigarenders Leader : Oh no, how long have you been addicted to cigarettes?

  Bobby Hill : Since my dad let me smoke a whole carton

  [the crowd angrily talk amongst themselves] 

  Hank Hill : Wait a minute I didn't let him, I made him, it was a punishment!

  [the group voices their disgust] 

  Bill Dauterive : Can I get a new buddy?

  Cigarenders Leader : [angry]  You are sick sir, you shouldn't be allowed to have children!

  Hank Hill : [standing up]  Now hold on a minute here, I didn't bring my family here to be yelled at, I don't think I like this club, you all whine too much and the coffee's bad, I'll tell you what you need to do, you need to take a 13th step, down off your high horse!

  Bill Dauterive : [excitedly]  Yeah!

  [the group angrily glare at him and he sits down] 

• Peggy Hill : [to Hank]  Hank, there is a tile in the bathroom that I think we missed.

  Hank Hill : Really? Well, I better check that out.

  [goes into the bathroom to find a lit cigarette which he smokes] 

  Hank Hill : Well, I found the "tile", thank you very much, Peggy. And I looked at it but there's still some more "tile" for you to look at.

  Peggy Hill : You know, I think I will save the rest of my "tile" for after breakfast.

  Bobby Hill : [irritated]  Will you stop talking about your stupid tile? If it's so dirty, go clean it! And if it's clean, you can shut up!

  [puts his sausage into his mashed potatoes like someone putting out a cigarette and leaves] 

• Hank Hill : [after catching Bobby smoking a cigarette]  Do you want to lose a lung? If you do, I am sure there is another boy out there who'd take it in a second! Didn't you read this? Cancer, Heart disease, Emphysema!

  Bobby Hill : I thought those were the ingredients