- Peggy Hill: Hank, the day after Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, the biggest shopping day of the year. And I will not spend another year giving Dallas Mavericks crap because the Cowboys stuff was all sold out.
- Cotton Hill: [chewing on something with a disgusted look on his face] Tilly did you make this stuffing?, cause it tastes like garbage!
- Hank Hill: [embarrassed and worried] Uh, Dad!
- Cotton Hill: Did I ever tell you the time she tried to poison me with a baked chicken?
- Tilly Hill: [sighing] It was chicken almondine!
- Cotton Hill: It was cyanide woman!
- Hank Hill: Uh, Dad could you please show Mom some respect while Bobby's in the room?
- Cotton Hill: You heard him Bobby, leave the room
- [Bobby stand up]
- Hank Hill: No sit down Bobby
- Bobby Hill: Could you at least respect Grandmom until we get to dessert?
- Cotton Hill: Didi's your grandmom too Bobby, your pretty grandmom!
- Hank Hill: Dad!
- [Tilly sighs]
- Bill Dauterive: [Tapping a knife against a glass] To the stuffing, might taste like garbage but it sure fills you up!
- Jonathan: Well it looks like we're pretty close to a consensus, now if we could discuss the electric seat warmer.
- Hank Hill: Why would we need our seat warmed?, that's what pants are for, right Boomhauer?
- Boomhauer: I don't know Hank, man dang ol' could get naked on that dang ol' thing man, you know vibrator might feel good man.
- Jonathan: [Not understanding him] So you're in favor of the mower Mr. Boomhauer?
- Boomhauer: Man you didn't dang ol' listen man.
- [Jonathan deletes Boomhauer's comment page]
- Peggy Hill: You defended Troy Aikman more than you defended your own mother!
- Hank Hill: Mom knows how it is with Dad. And there were six dropped passes, all Troy can do is get it there!
- Jonathan: [Asking Dale about the mower] How about you Rusty?
- [Dale doesn't respond]
- Jonathan: Rusty?
- Bill Dauterive: [Nudging Dale] Rusty!
- Dale Gribble: Oh Shackleford, yes I am pro mower!
- Hank Hill: What?
- Dale Gribble: I like the ashtray.
- Hank Hill: Don't be an idiot Dale that's the gas cap!
- Cotton Hill: He's an idiot he can use it however he wants!
- Dale Gribble: Thank you Colonel!
- [Hank sighs]