King of the Hill (TV Series)
Pilot (1997)
Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer
Photos
Quotes
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Dale : Open up your eyes, man. They're tryin' to control global warmin'. Get it? Glo-bal.
Hank : So what?
Dale : That's code for UN commissars tellin' Americans what temperature it's gonna be in our outdoors. I say, let the world warm up. We'll grow oranges in Alaska.
Hank : Dale, you giblet head. We live in Texas. It's already 110 in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!
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Hank : What you listening to, son?
Bobby Hill : I don't think you'd like it.
Hank : Well, why not? I like this new generation of music.
[puts on Bobby's headphones]
Person on Phone : [phone rings] Hello?
[a farting sound occurs]
Hank : Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where did you record this?
Bobby Hill : I bought it at the mall. It's the funny phone jerks.
Hank : Let me tell you, Bobby. There's nothing funny about these sounds. What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder.
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Hank : Now you listen here. You see that boy? That's my boy! And if you ever try to take him away, so help me God, I'll tear you a new one bigger'n the Grand Canyon.
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Hank : [to Page] Now you listen to me, mister. I work for a living. And I mean real work. Not writing down gobbledygook. I provide the people of this community with propane and propane accessories. When I think of all my hard-earned tax dollars... going to pay a bunch of little twig-boy bureaucrats like you...
[Hank is becoming so angry his face is turning colors]
Hank : it just makes me want to... God, it just...
[to Peggy]
Hank : Honey, bring me my BC Headache Powder and a glass of water.
[back to Page]
Hank : Now, you listen here. You see that boy? That's my boy. And if you ever try to take him away, so help me God... I'll tear you a new one bigger than the Grand Canyon. Now I want you to get out of my house. You're not welcome here. I mean now, before I give you a black eye! GIT!
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[Hank is lying on the bed, despondent]
Hank : It's hard, Peggy. I don't want to lose my little boy, my only son. But, oh, it's hard.
Peggy Hill : Well, you can relax. The investigation has been off for a week only, Bobby didn't tell us.
Hank : [bolts upright] I'LL KILL HIM!
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[Hank chases Page out of the house]
Anthony Page : You are out of control!
Hank : [slaps Page's car] You're out of control, Twiggy!