- Peggy Hill: My uncle was a cowboy in the rodeo. He had to leave Vietnam because he was waking up with rodeo nightmares.
- Bobby Hill: [as Hank throws Bobby's clown makeup in the trash] That's Luanne's makeup.
- Bobby Hill: You're not only a clown, you're a thief! I don't know which is worse... *Clown.*
- Hank Hill: Bobby, I'm trying to help you. You see, a *circus* clown is a carnie who's too stupid to flip a ride switch on and off. Now you take a circus clown, roll him on the barn floor, and kick him in the head a couple hundred times, and what have you got?
- Bobby Hill: [sobbing] Your son!
- Hank Hill: It's just the kids' calf scramble. It's fun. The animals are runnin' around without any plays or game plans or anything. Kinda like Barry Switzer was coachin' em'.
- Hank Hill: If you lived out here for a month, you'd go crazy.
- Bobby Hill: The cows seem happy.
- Hank Hill: Well, that's 'cause they're not bein' slaughtered. Talk to 'em again in 2 weeks.
- Peggy Hill: My uncle wasn't a cowboy, Hank! He was a dirty, drunken rodeo clown!
- Hank Hill: [shocked] Don't tell me... Uncle Boffo?