King of the Hill (TV Series)

The Texas Skilsaw Massacre (2002)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hank : You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a tunnel straight through to sunshine!

  Big Jim : Ha ha, that's telling him.

  Hank : 'Felt good, too.

  Dale Gribble : Back off, Hank, or Octavio will mess you up.

  Octavio : Dale, I don't care if he stays or goes. Where's the money you owe me, esse?

  Dale Gribble : You heard him.

  Big Jim : Take your best shot, Cochise. I love two things: building doll house furniture and kicking ass. And I don't see any doll houses 'round here. You see any doll houses, Hank?

  [Hank shakes his head] 

  Big Jim : No you don't, that's right! And what are you looking at, sport? Don't you eyeball me! Don't you eyeball a JUNKYARD DOG! ARF! ARF! ARF! NOW YOU GOT THE DOG BARKING! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! ARF! ARF!

  [yells, bellows, suddenly grabs his chest and keels over] 

• Hank : Hey Khan, you wanna try my new saw?

  Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr. : How many RPM?

  Hank : 6000

  Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr. : Nah!

• Hank : You know if you want, Bill and Boomhauer, one of you guys can come stand over here with me.

  Bill Dauterive : Uh, I'll wait 'till you pass that anger management class! I once made a nest out of your wife's underpants. I can't imagine what you'd do to me!

• Peggy Hill : [gasps upon seeing Big Jim in coffin]  Hank! That is how you look like when you sleep.

  [enter flashbacks of Hank losing his temper] 

  Hank : I'm going to kick your ass!

  Hank : You're ass is mine twiggy!

  Hank : [gives some anguished sighs in each flashback and even kicks a few people's asses!] 

  [end flashbacks] 

• Hank : [upon receiving his anger management diploma]  Uh, it says "Hink Hall". You got the 'I' and the 'A' mixed up. This might make it difficult to get my restraining order lifted.

  Instructor : I'll bet that really steams your beans doesn't it, Hink?

• Hank : Red tag? No! Green tag, green tag.

• Hank : I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.

• Judge : Mr. Gribble alleges that you intentionally severed his finger.

  Hank : Your Honor it was an accident!, we're wasting valuable legal resources here.

  Dale Gribble : Objection, conjecture, objecture!

  Hank : That's not a word!

  Judge : Mr. Hill please control your outbursts!

• Hank Hill : [Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer are drinking on one side of the fence separate from Hank]  You know if you want Bill, Boomhauer one of you guys can come stand over by me

  Bill Dauterive : I'll wait til you pass that anger class, you cut Dale's finger off for digging a tunnel, I once made a vest out of your wife's underpants, I can't imagine what you'd do to me

  Hank Hill : Come on I wouldn't hurt you, you guys know I don't have a problem with anger, I have a problem with idiots

  Dale Gribble : [Hank steps forward]  Hold it right there! One more step and you'll have to move to a similar house a few blocks away, not too pretty a picture is it?

  Hank Hill : God dang it!

  [kicks the tape measure in frustration] 

  Dale Gribble : [the tape measure flies back and hits Bill in the nuts]  Oh god he's on another rampage, pray for us all!