King of the Hill (TV Series)

Traffic Jam (1998)

Chris Rock: Roger 'Booda' Sack

Quotes 

• Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Yo' mama so ugly, when she walk into the bank, they turn the cameras off.

  Hank : Your mother is so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

• Hank : Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to criticize your lesson plan, but... Do you have a lesson plan?

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Sure. I'm planning on teaching, lessin' you shut up!

• Roger 'Buddha' Sack : It's been so long since yo mama's last bath that her hairy armpits smell like propane gas.

  Hank : Now excuse me, hold on there, fella. A joke's a joke, but now you've gone too far. Propane has no natural smell.

• Bobby Hill : My dad brought me here. He wanted to show me how sad and lonesome you are underneath.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : [feigning sadness]  You right, you right. Buddha Sack is a sad man. But not as sad as your daddy's sorry self with his four eyes, too-many pies, super size, crackerjack prize... somebody help me out here...

  Bobby Hill : And he likes French fries!

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Ladies and gentlemen, this kid's gonna be the white Rerun! We got the white Rerun up in here!

• Bobby Hill : Hey, I've been working on some new material. Check it out. "White people think the 'hood is something on their sweatshirts." And "How come the cops always be pullin' me over? What's up with that?"

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Bobby, let me give you a little... constructive criticism: you're not black.

  Bobby Hill : Oh. Okay.

• [credits fourth-wall break: Hank and Roger are standing outside Strickland Propane] 

  Hank : Hello, I'm Hank Hill.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : And I'm Roger Sack.

  Hank : Tonight's episode of "King of the Hill" dealt with racial stereotypes, particularly the myth that white people do not have butts.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : As you can see from the man standing next to me, that's simply not true.

  Hank : Thank you, Roger.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : It's a fine butt.

  Hank : [getting uncomfortable]  Uh... thank you.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : That butt is the bomb!

  Hank : Uh... I think "The X-Files" are coming up next.

  [beat] 

  Hank : Now.

  [beat] 

  Hank : Go!

• Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Opie, that new act of yours is seriously unfunny. Am I right, folks?

  [audience agreeing] 

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : You ain't allowed to talk that way, not in America. Am I right, y'all?

  [more agreement] 

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : *Wrong*! We got a thing called freedom of speech, and a man on this stage can say any dumb-ass thing he wants!

  [no reaction from the audience] 

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Uh... besides, look at this kid's daddy!

  [gestures to Hank] 

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Ain't got no butt at all, no butt at all! His booty so small, he gotta hold on to the light-switch to keep from fallin' in the toilet!

• Hank : Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to criticize your lesson plan, but do you *have* a lesson plan?

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : You sayin' a black man can't put together a lesson plan? Well, here's my lesson plan: I ain't planning on teaching *less'n* you shut up!

  Hank : Hold on now, I didn't...

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Cracker, is you takin' me serious?

• Bobby Hill : So how come you're in Arlen? I mean, you're really good.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : I got a little risque on "Moesha" a couple of years ago, and it's been hard for me ever since. Besides, TV's not where it's at, Bobby. It's just giving people the same old stereotypes, playing the same old stories. I don't want to do that. What I want to do is make people laugh and think, you know what I'm saying?

  Bobby Hill : That's why you teach traffic school!

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : [attempting to hide his disappointment]  Yeah... that's why I teach traffic school.