King of the Hill (TV Series)

Traffic Jam (1998)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Quotes 

• Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Yo' mama so ugly, when she walk into the bank, they turn the cameras off.

  Hank : Your mother is so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

• [at a stand-up show, Bobby is making fun of his dad] 

  Hank : Sit down, son. They're not laughing with you, they're laughing at me.

• Hank : Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to criticize your lesson plan, but... Do you have a lesson plan?

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Sure. I'm planning on teaching, lessin' you shut up!

• Roger 'Buddha' Sack : It's been so long since yo mama's last bath that her hairy armpits smell like propane gas.

  Hank : Now excuse me, hold on there, fella. A joke's a joke, but now you've gone too far. Propane has no natural smell.

• [credits fourth-wall break: Hank and Roger are standing outside Strickland Propane] 

  Hank : Hello, I'm Hank Hill.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : And I'm Roger Sack.

  Hank : Tonight's episode of "King of the Hill" dealt with racial stereotypes, particularly the myth that white people do not have butts.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : As you can see from the man standing next to me, that's simply not true.

  Hank : Thank you, Roger.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : It's a fine butt.

  Hank : [getting uncomfortable]  Uh... thank you.

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : That butt is the bomb!

  Hank : Uh... I think "The X-Files" are coming up next.

  [beat] 

  Hank : Now.

  [beat] 

  Hank : Go!

• Hank : Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to criticize your lesson plan, but do you *have* a lesson plan?

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : You sayin' a black man can't put together a lesson plan? Well, here's my lesson plan: I ain't planning on teaching *less'n* you shut up!

  Hank : Hold on now, I didn't...

  Roger 'Buddha' Sack : Cracker, is you takin' me serious?

• Hank : Look, there's something we haven't told you, Bobby, but maybe now's the time. You see, show business is inherently evil.

  Peggy Hill : Hank! We agreed not to have this discussion until Bobby is fifteen years old!

  Hank : I know, but it's time for some tough love. Bobby, comedians are show-offs. Sure, they get beautiful women and drive fast trucks, but eventually...

  Bobby Hill : They drive fast trucks?