Kojak (TV Series)

Cop in a Cage (1974)

Telly Savalas: Lt. Theo Kojak

Quotes 

• Lt. Theo Kojak : If I ever see you near me or any of my family I'm gonna scatter your brains from here to White Plains, sweetheart.

• Lt. Theo Kojak : Tweet, tweet, baby. I'm a cop in a cage.

• Lt. Theo Kojak : Now you listen good, yo-yo. Because I'm gonna tell you something for every cop that's ever had to live under a threat from a punk like you. You know, maybe sometime when you're an old man, you'll be thinking about getting out. Ah, don't think anything about getting even. I want you to think about me. Because, if by some remote possibility you get out, there's gonna be a little 150-year old man waiting for you. And that little old man will be me.

• Lt. Theo Kojak : Now look, two things I want you to remember, kiddo. Number one: you're marrying my favorite niece.

  Eugene : Right.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : And number two: my favorite niece's favorite uncle is a cop.

  Eugene : Hey, I won't forget that, sir.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : Yeah, 'sir'. You can cool the 'sir', because next week at this time, you'll be crying uncle. Get used to it, 'cause that's what you'll be calling me.

• Lt. Theo Kojak : [to Gloria]  You stop talking to me like a john or I'll take my lollipop away.

• Sophie : [on phone]  Theo? This is Sophie. Yeah, the nerve-wracked mother.

  Lt. Theo Kojak : [on other line]  Yeah Sophie, what is it?

  Sophie : What it is, is a rehearsal in an hour. You coming?

  Lt. Theo Kojak : This afternoon? Hey look, if they can pretend they're getting married, can't they pretend I'm there?

• Lt. Theo Kojak : Ah, that sounds like a threat, Cinderella. Now, assume the position. Turn around.