- Hank Kingsley: For your information Miss Smartypants, I've been thinking about dropping Alzheimer's for 5 years - c'mon guys, where's the cure?
- Hank Kingsley: Be on the phone and be sure you get me something for this Saturday and Darlene, remember ...
- Darlene Chapinni: Oh yeah, nothing contagious.
- Larry Sanders: [on Richard Belzer] You know, ever since he's done "Homicide" that guy attitude's really changed. You know that? Did you noticed? These stand-up comics who think they're fucking actors make me sick.
- Arthur: You're absolutely correct.
- Arthur: [on Rob Reiner's ankle accident while cancelling his appearance on the show] What a cinematic excuse! I can almost see him falling down, that's what makes him a genius.
- Richard Belzer: The reason I'm here... is this my camera? The reason I'm here is because Rob Reiner crapped out at the last time. Guess who they call? They call me.