Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (TV Series)
Slaves (2000)
Richard Belzer: Detective John Munch
Quotes
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Dr. Audrey Jackson : Do you always deflect personal questions with jokes?
John Munch : Do you always deflect jokes with personal questions?
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Dr. Audrey Jackson : Have you ever experienced any sexual dysfunction since taking this job? And I'd like a serious answer.
Det. John Munch : Once.
Dr. Audrey Jackson : Thank you. And when was that?
Det. John Munch : Not sure, but I think it was somewhere in the last ten minutes.
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Det. John Munch : [to Dr. Jackson] Look, I'm not good talking about me. You're the expert, why don't you talk about me?
Dr. Audrey Jackson : OK. You've been married multiple times. Each wife was spoiled, beautiful, but not one matched you intellectually. You distrust all women, any form of government and you could smell a conspiracy at a five-year-old's lemonade stand.
Det. John Munch : Anything else?
Dr. Audrey Jackson : You've given up on relationships, but you still believe in true love.
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Det. John Munch : [to Jeffries] Are you all right?
Monique Jefferies : Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?
Det. John Munch : The psych exam. Dr. Giggles had me wanting to eat my gun.
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Dr. Audrey Jackson : We still have 45 minutes.
John Munch : Well, I could give you a complete detailed account of my sex life... but what are we going to do with the other 44 minutes?
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Det. John Munch : Does dealing with sexual deviance affect me? The answer is no, you can ask my blow up doll.
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Det. John Munch : [to the reservation agent] And don't answer that phone. Anyone who calls an airline sits on hold 20 minutes minimum while being subjected to a Clockwork Orangeian repetitive loop on the benefits of your awards program.
Reservations Agent : I believe that's your phone, sir.
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Dr. Audrey Jackson : [to Munch] Do you have a girlfriend?
Det. John Munch : Do you?
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John Munch : Stepford Nanny.