- Lizzie: Ronnie broke up with me.
- Gordo: He's a loser.
- Lizzie: No, Gordo. I'm the loser. Okay? He likes another girl. She's probably prettier than me, she's probably smarter than me, and she's probably a lot more fun than I am.
- Gordo: No, she's not.
- Lizzie: How do you know?
- Gordo: Because there's nobody prettier than you, or more fun to be with.
- Lizzie: You forgot smarter.
- Gordo: Yeah, well, I was including myself in that one.
- [on the phone with Miranda, paperboy next to her]
- Lizzie: Are you listening to me?
- Ronny Jacobs: I'm sorry, I forgot to turn off my ears.
- Matt: Well, Malina has the baseball card I want but she'll only give it to me if I meet her demands.
- Sam McGuire: That's extortion.
- Jo McGuire: That's brilliant.